A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating this girl for about a month and a half now, and it was going pretty good until recently. First things first, I want to make it clear that I met this girl two days after she broke up with her ex, and started dating her about a month after. Additionally, her and the ex go to school together. Now on to the story...When we first started dating, i made it clear to her that i did not want to be a rebound. She said i wasnt, so we went on with the relationship. As time passed, i noticed she was always talking bad about him, and said how much she annoyed her. When he contacted her, she would play it off as being "annoying." However, if there is one thing that is true, they do still stay in contact through texting. I let it go originally because they go to school together, but still thought it was uncalled for. Whenever i get a glimpse of her phone (never snooped), i notice that he is usually in her list of messaging conversations. rrgh.Last night, we were talking among friends, and a conversation came up that pertained to her school. She picked up her phone and texted someone to get an answer for the question asked. I didnt think anything of it, but when i glanced at her phone I saw she was texting her EX! Now, I got pissed cause she could have texted either of her two best friends this question, but decided on him. I think that is sketch. Additionally, she continued to text him for at least 20 more minutes. She said (while replying), "Ugh, why is he texting me..." and i was like "YO YOUR REPLYING TO HIM, of course hes gonna talk to you!" Nevertheless, i was pissed for the rest of the night, and she noticed because i wasnt being as affectionate. She was trying to kiss me, and i was half-kissing her back, until she rolled over and went to bed without saying a word.Then, we woke up this morning and it was sour between us. I was still pissed, she was still pissed, I could tell. We kissed goodbye, and I left. Havent talked to her all day.Additionally, our relationship has been moving really fast, and Im spending too much time with her. There are some other signs that I have been recieving that may constitute a "transitional relationship" for her, and I'm beginning to get worried. What should I do, break up with her or back off a little bit? We just had a talk the other day about some stuff so i dont want to have another one right away. Is this something i should be worried about? Am I in a rebound relationship? Should i be pissed about her texting her Ex? Should i back off/break up with her, or talk about it? Any advice would be awesome.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for replying to this... It's been a bumpy road for me. Just to update, we haven't talked all day and she changed her profile picture on FB to a picture of herself when it used to be a picture of us both. Personally I find this immature, as she did this before the last time we had an issue to discuss.
I will be ending the "relationship" tomorrow. We were spending too much time together as it was, so maybe this is the best for both of us.
A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (12 August 2012):
 It sounds like she wasn't and isn't over her ex. She started dating too soon afterward and now she is in two relationships. You are correct that she should not be texting him or communicating with him. She has the power to stop that and she clearly isn't.
You could talk with her about it and tell her that it's clear she isn't over him yet, and maybe the two of you should separate for awhile. She may not be accepting of this, but I think it would be best for you to do as you say and back off a little bit. If you are really interested in her and want to wait, tell her that when she is ready to stop communicating with the ex and have a relationship with you, you will be there. I would make it clear that you want to be with her (if that is definitely what you want), but that you cannot stay under the current conditions. So, you will give her the space she needs to figure out what she really wants.
You definitely have the right to feel as you do, but make an ultimatum with her and then stick to it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2012): You already know the answer. Instead of being happy to be with you, she's obsessing over her ex. Break up with her and find a girl who's emotionally ready to love you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2012): The time she was with her ex is at least the time it will take for her to get used to being without him. You may be a rebound relationship but it depends on who is better at fulfilling her needs. That's what you need to figure out. If he's more compatible to her and she values him more, eventually she's going to stop thinking of him as bad and then want to go back to him. If she doesn't, you're going to be more important. How you act now, determines your worth.
If they had a good relationship, maybe you should tell them to get back together. If they didn't, explain what it will cost her with you for her to still have him around just in case.
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