A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:i was married for 29yrs my partner left me i then met my current partner within a few months. he is very controlling i have been with him for over ten years but it is very difficult . he is verbally abusive and very aggressive and in the past has been physically abusive i just feel that i am getting nothing from this relationship and would be better off on my own. iknow it will be difficult but i will have support from my family who have not thought much of my partner from the beginning. what should i do Reply to this Question
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female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (2 October 2010):
 I left an abusive husband after 18 years. I now live by myself in my own cosy little home with the kids popping in and staying over and the company of a rather lovely cat!!
It was hard to sort out, but not impossible and you have no idea how blissful it is to live in a totally non-threatening peaceful and loving environment where the only decisions and plans are my own. Im not wealthy but I am extremely relieved and happy. I have not had an angry word or argument directed at me in 6 years. I date the odd man here and there, just for an evening out but I would never want or need to be in another long term relationship ever again in my life!!
Leave him! start your life over.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2010): Simple, leave. You have already lost all confidence in yourself, you are putting up with being abused, and you admit to getting nothing out of this relationship. Ask yourself "why do I allow someone in my life to treat me this way?" and then list the reasons why. For example : Because I am afraid that I will never find someone to love again. Then answer these false statements for yourself in the worst case scenario....even if I never enter into another relationship with a man (which is extremely unlikely), I can love myself and do for me all the things I do for him and I would be happier just from that alone.Staying in an abusive relationship will just deteriorate your self esteem and self loathing to the point that you will never be able to leave. Do it now and learn to love yourself so that no man will ever be able to abuse you again without you becoming indignant over the treatment and waLk away immediately.The day I learned to love myself, my life changed. Take a picture of yourself when you where a child, talk to that little child, acknowledge how innocent you where back then and how lovable and deserving of love you where. Promise to always protect and love that child (this is essentially a promise to yourself). This is a powerful exercise...Do it!Best of luck to you, you deserve better and you can have better .... even if it is you that provides it. You have all the love you need right in your own heart. Instead of giving it away to some undeserving idiot, give it to yourself :)Please let us know how you are doing.
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A
female
reader, SweetindianGirl  +, writes (2 October 2010):
talkt o your 29 yr old relationship guy, once he sees what you pushed yourself into he will help you, ten go to the family byt hen hopefully* (i hope and pray) you guys find your way back into one anothers hearts and then can return to your family...and this absusive one, its okay let what happened go DO whats best for you now!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2010): Ask yourself this question: What stops me from leaving?When/if you come up with the answer you will at least know what hurdles need to be confronted.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2010): Leave him and don't look back.
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