A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I'm friends with this girl who puts all kinds of stress on herself with work and other things. Though I could never find the right way to ask for her number. Because of the amount she deals with between work and classes she often times doesn't take care of herself well enough and becomes ill. this kind of thing has happened before and it worries me how she is doing. Now she has said before that she isn't looking for a relationship right now and I'm ok with that but I still want to show her that I care about her. This past week I tried visiting her at her workplace and she hasn't been there despite what she told me that she had shifts every night. So I'm thinking that she is sick again as the last time I saw her she was in a bad mood. My problem is that while I never asked for her number I looked in the student directory and found it. But the thing is I don't know whether I should send a txt just making sure she's ok or to just wait until I see her next time. For me personally, I wouldn't much care for a strange number suddenly appearing on my phone from someone I didn't give it to. But I don't know how she would feel getting something from me when she never gave her number to me in the first place. I want to show her I care about her but I don't want to overstep her privacy by sending something to her out of the blue. How would she feel?
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female
reader, nutmeggy +, writes (2 October 2010):
I think you're thinking about it too much. For me personally, I love when I'm sick and a guy texts/calls or even comes over to take care of me and make sure I'm ok. Send her a text...I'm sure she'll appreciate the thought.
A
female
reader, nutmeggy +, writes (2 October 2010):
I think you're thinking about it too much. For me personally, I love when I'm sick and a guy texts/calls or even comes over to take care of me and make sure I'm ok. Send her a text...I'm sure she'll appreciate the thought.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2010): I wouldn't text her, woman think about things differently from us men, visiting her at her workplace might have the wrong effect aswell tbh. If she said she's not looking for a relationship and you do the kinda steps that you would do if you were looking to get into a relationship, she's going to get annoyed at you for not listening to her. Be her friend as much as possible while she's stressed, ask for her number in person but try and make it look like it's just a casual thing. Spend some time talking to her, see if she'll succumb to the idea of a relationship if your a good enough guy and take it from there.
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A
female
reader, LolaBolla  +, writes (2 October 2010):
 I think someone as sharp as her would certainly recall that she never gave you her number.
That being said, I think your gesture is incredably considerate, and I'm sure she'd value it. Do you have her email or facebook? Why not contact her through another outlet so it doesn't seem that you're going out of your way to get her number?
There is no way of knowing for sure how she would react, but if worst comes to worst (I doubt she'd be upset; women love sweet, thoughtful things like this) just tell her you asked a mutual friend for her number because you were worried :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2010): Trust your feelings. Wait until you see her again and tell her you want her number because you were worried about her and you wanted to call. Just pretend you never looked up her number in the directory. Sometimes people get touchy about 'stalking' even when it's not stalking.
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