A
female
age
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*ea49
writes: i have been dating a man now for six years. Two years ago he moved in with me. He is so totally needy and becomes very emotional if i ever mention breaking up. I am not working at this time and am not able to support myself so i admitt i depend on him financially. We are not in a sexual relationship more like companions. But i am very unhappy with him, i feel suffocated and i plan to get a job and when i can afford it i wiil leave but i do worry about him being sad and i worry what he might do if we split up. What do i do?!!!
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male
reader, eddie +, writes (7 December 2007):
I'm not sure he is as needy as he is possessive or jealous. You should not continue to put up with his demanding interrogations and disrespect. IT sounds like he's treating you like a child. Is he the violent type? He needs to understand that you're not going to live your life like a person who's guilty of something. You are already tired of it so I suggest you get some counseling, as a couple. Could that work for you?
A
female
reader, jea49 +, writes (7 December 2007):
jea49 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthaks for your advice. but i feel trapped and i do rely on him financially! And i know this makes him happy because then i can spend all my time with him. We live in a townhouse and
when i go upstairs he asks me when i am coming back down!!!!!
He listens to every conversation when i am talking on the phone. I went to visit my sister, she lives about 2 miles away and because i wasn't back within a half an hour he said he would take the cars keys away, i don't know why i put up with this, years ago when i was younger i would have never allow anyone to tell me what to do!!! thanks again for your advice but i do have some concern managing on my own not emotionally just financially.
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A
male
reader, eddie +, writes (6 December 2007):
You say he is needy and at the same time you have no work or money and you can't afford to support yourself.....is that not being needy too. If you want to break up, do it because you're unhappy with the relationship,you've tried to salvage it, and it didn't work. Be careful about labeling him as needy though. There are labels for all of us.
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A
female
reader, bqagirl2692 +, writes (6 December 2007):
Well, my advice is to do what your heart tells you to do. Follow that gut feelings of yours. Dont stay with him because you feel sympthy for him, otherwise you'll never be happy. Do whats right by you, Not him. Yes it will be hard seeing him sad but in our lives, we can try our best to make people happy and prevent them from being sad but sometimes theres just nothing we can do. Look for a job as you said and leave. He'll have to understand and cope with it one way or another. You deserve happiness.
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