A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Told my bf of 6 years and my sister that I am bisexual while drunk and now I feel ashamed and disgusted with myself. My sister's reaction was just is that it ? Because I said I have something to say. My bf reacted by saying I could sleep with women and seemed turned on by it so I can't help but feel I e opened a whole can of worms for no reason. I thought I would feel relieved as all I seem to fantasise about is women. I've missed women before but nothing more. Who knows maybe if I tried it I wouldn't like it as much as I think. I feel I've outted myself for no reason and not sure what to do now.
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female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (24 December 2020):
 There's a school of thought that any one of us is capable of being attracted to either sex, that none of us are completely heterosexual or homosexual. According to this theory, while we may be primarily attracted to one gender or the other, if the right person comes along of the other gender, we can feel physical attraction towards them.
Just because you fantasize about women does not necessarily mean you would enjoy a relationship with one. Many women watch girl on girl porn without actually wanting to get physical with a woman in real life.
As for your boyfriend getting excited about the idea, I wonder how he will feel if you prefer the new female to him? How will YOU feel if he prefers the new female to YOU?
Think this through and decide what you want to do. Being bi-sexual is not an excuse to cheat. There is NEVER an excuse for cheating. If you want to move on, finish things with your boyfriend and see if you can find yourself a girlfriend. I say this while having a feeling you will have a threesome regardless of what is advised, in which case you will be back at some point for different advice.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2020): Bisexual means you're capable of having physical and emotional-attraction to both men and women. That doesn't mean you carelessly hit the switch; while you're in a monogamous-relationship. If your boyfriend is going to start exploiting the fact, expecting threesomes all the time; you may as well breakup, and become single and date whatever gender you please.
If you want to remain in a faithful monogamous-relationship with a man; you had better make up your mind whether this relationship is rock-solid. If you're craving female-company; it's better you breakup first, and then pursue your preference.
Don't let guys use you for their own private live-porn performances. That cheapens relationships; and you'll end-up finding somebody you like and leaving the creep anyway. Let him keep his fantasies in his head; as should you, if you value the relationship as it is.
If you're getting an itch, it would be best that you tell him you're ready to start dating women...as a single-woman. What often starts out as a fun idea usually ends in drama and misery. Of course, people try experimenting. It usually ends with him meeting a woman he clicks with, or you will. Then you're stuck in some triangle of drama, and cheating on the side. My advice? Don't go there! I've seen it too many times, and it never ends well! Many may argue to the contrary, but life always sets the record straight with facts!
Get all the ideas about threesomes out of your boyfriend's head. Once you go down that rabbit hole, breaking-up is inevitable.
As for letting the cat out of the bag; if you don't freak-out, the novelty will wear-off, and things will settle down. Provided blurting it out wasn't a Freudian-slip, and you really do want to breakup with your boyfriend, and haven't figured-out how yet?
One at a time is usually your best bet! If you're fantasizing about women, while with your man. I guess it's only a matter of time. Either you'll breakup, or you'll cheat on him. Do the right thing!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (23 December 2020):
 Being bisexual doesn't mean you get a free pass to cheat, or rather it shouldn't, IMHO.
It just means you can be attracted to some men and some women.
If you want to "try" women, I think you should honestly break up with your BF.
Even if he "gave" you permission, your relationship will NEVER be the same if you start to "open" the relationship to "try" being with a women. Consider that IF you do this, doesn't it mean HE also can sleep with other women?
Is that what you want?
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