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I think I have caught my BF cheating.

Tagged as: Cheating, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 June 2006) 8 Answers - (Newest, 5 June 2006)
A female Ireland, *aryA writes:

dear cupid, i really am very down at the minute. while i was pregnant i found a photograph of a mystery girl in my boyfriends wallet, on the back of the pic it said i hope you like it keep it with you claudia!! i thought this was very disrespectful. he didn't think so. turned out this girl was an exchange student that came to his school from chili for a week or two and during that time they got very close. anyway i forgave him even though it hurt me very much.

soon our daughter was born and when she was around for months i was at home and had just sat at the pc when i saw on the screen on his hotmail page e-mails from this girl, i asked my bf what they were about and he wouldn't tell me. and as i went to open them he went mad and turned the pc off. then started shouting at me that i didn't trust him!!

he never apoligised for this or even gave me an explanation. and it time all the fuss died down until yesterday....

...again i just sat at the pc when on the screen poped up, claudia says; hi hugh.

i thought this was my chance to find out some truth so i typed hey how you doin?.

our conversation went on and she said alot of eye opening things, here is a small piece of the conversation;how are things with your girlfriend? better?

Hugh says:

NO NOT REALLY. I CANT EVEN REMEMBER WHAT ALL I TOLD YOU!

cLaU!! says:

???

Hugh says:

WITH MY GIRLFRIEND, SO MUCH HAS WENT ON!!

cLaU!! says:

maybe you will finally fall for her....after all she is ruby's mom.......maybe you will get over me and forget all that's happened and all the plans we have together

Hugh says:

I KNOW I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

cLaU!! says:

i ve got to go.......

cLaU!! says:

see you soon

Hugh says:

WHY?

cLaU!! says:

i ve got to work now

cLaU!! says:

Hugh says:

YOU CAN BE A LITTLE LATE!!

cLaU!! says:

what do you want to talk about??

Hugh says:

ANYTHING TO get a while free from here

cLaU!! says:

you ar at home?

Hugh says:

i know but i can escape in our conversation!!

cLaU!! says:

you dont like being a daddy?

Hugh says:

i do but i wish i hadn't got her pregnant.

cLaU!! says:

you alwaysa say that

cLaU!! says:

but what is done is done

Hugh says:

should i leave her? whats your opinion?

cLaU!! says:

you know you are going to leave her anyway

cLaU!! says:

i m going to see you soon and that is going to be over

Hugh says:

but when..

cLaU!! says:

yo know when

Hugh says:

why cant you give me a date?

cLaU!! says:

cause you know it

cLaU!! says:

and it 's our secret

Hugh says:

i wish it was sooner!!

cLaU!! says:

it is soon

cLaU!! says:

soon

Hugh says:

i cant wait

cLaU!! says:

ok...i ve really got to go

Hugh says:

but what about ruby?

cLaU!! says:

we ve talked about that a hundred times

cLaU!! says:

yo know all thos e answers

Hugh says:

but mary loves her.

cLaU!! says:

and what does that have to do?

Hugh says:

i cant leave her here.

my bf says its a load of s#@t but i'm not sure. what should i believe?

View related questions: I love you

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A female reader, carebear United Kingdom +, writes (5 June 2006):

carebear agony auntMary

Tell him it's over he can be with Claudia NOW as you don't want him pack his bags and throw him out THEN he will have to make up his own mind although he should already know what he;s going to do either go with Claudia or if he wants you back he better NEVER EVER do this again (that's if you take him back) Be strong stand up for yourself and your daughter do not accept this crap as he will only do it again if you dont deal with this the right way the first time take care

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A female reader, Smiler +, writes (5 June 2006):

Smiler agony auntHey sweetie,

Firstly i'm really sorry to hear about your situation and the shit of a guy your with, i know you can't help who you fall for, you poor thing you must of been heartbroken and crying typing to the other women huh? you have to be strong for your daughters sake... don't make this easy for him and don't take any more of his lies tell him you have caught him red handed cheating and whatever he wants from you he ain't gonna get... give him his marching orders kick him straight to that kerb honey you and your daughter deserve so much better why should you and your daughter have to put up with his false emotions his lying cheating ways!!!! tell him he made his bed now he ust lie in it! you want him out straight away don't let him sweet talk you or get you believeing his lies you have to suck up every ounce of courage and strength inside you and tell him whats what you deserve love and respect not lies and deciet the pain of what he has done will hurt you for ages but again you need to be strong and stand firm you will recover in time its true what people say that time is a great healer. make sure he knows he has just lost the best thing that ever happened to him!!!!

I hope my advise helped you ut a little sweetie Good luck, if you ever need a mate to talk to or just some more advise don't hesitate to email me i'm always here for you ok... would like to hear from you again let me know how you get on ok..

You Take Care Sweetie X

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (5 June 2006):

eyeswideopen agony auntMake sure you line up the child support that's due you and hand that cheater his walking papers. You can do much better.

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A female reader, Aunt Audrey United Kingdom +, writes (5 June 2006):

Aunt Audrey agony auntWhat does your own instinct tell you, do you feel this is a load of s**t, do you want to believe your b/f or is everything inside you telling you you've been had?

I'm not sure which one of you he is making the bigger fool of, but I bet she hasn't tied herself down with a child!

There has obviously been a lot of deception going on here and to me this looks like he is staying with you for a reason, only you will have some idea what that could be.

Personally I wouldn't believe a word this guy has to say, he sounds like a player to me, but ultimately the decision is yours.

Take care and good luck!

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A male reader, Lostandalone United States +, writes (5 June 2006):

Lostandalone agony aunt Believe your own eyes. No matter how much it hurts suck up your emotions and prepare for the worst. This woman is not just gonna make this up she didn't know it was you. Your bf has obviously had extensive contact with her and plans on meeting up with her. Watch his behavior for the next couple of weeks and don't pressure him about it, because if he wants to leave he will anyway. Just be prepared for when he does. I hate that you're going thru this with a baby no less. Good Luck.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2006):

I'm afraid it is true that your b.f. is having a relationship with her. He and she are both trying very hard to keep it a secret from you. I think there is something he wants from you that is why he is still with you. I can tell the reason is not you or your daughter.

I'm sorry. You need to leave him. Get rid of him.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2006):

Well you must have been devastated reading that! What an emotional betrayal. This is a very sad time for you and you have got to be strong for you and your daughter. I can't excuse his behaviour whatsoever, he is obviously a very immature character who is not ready to settle down in a relationship and have a family.Let him go now, even though it will be hard, he has shown you no respect. If you continue your relationship with this guy and try to brush it under the carpet he will only do it again.This time it's Claudia, next time someone else. Even if he were to be with with Claudia, he will do EXACTLY the same to her. It's not your fault, don't blame yourself, it's him, he's a lying cheat!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2006):

I am so sorry. It must have been really hard to read all of that but you know yourself who is lying here. I cant believe that you are even having to ask that question.

They have had lengthy discussions about how he feels about her and you and their future together. He has lied to you constantly about being in touch and how close they were. He is planning to meet up with her 'soon' behind your back.

This is pretty open and shut. He has had/is having some sort of relationship with her and is with you for some other reason. You need to make him leave as the ball is then in your court and you are not letting yourself be taken advantage of. If there is nothing going on and he wants to be with you then he will be back. If not, and he wants to be with her then he will go there and you can get on with your life without a lying cheat as a partner.

You, and your child, will only get hurt worse in the long run if you dont get it over with.

Most men I have encountered have been fundamental liers in one way or another. Not that they all are but I would always be suspicious and when you have black and white proof like this then you cant let it go. Dont let him manipulate you into believing him. I know it's easier to believe him and carry on as things are but you dont need him and he is using you.

Hope you stay strong through this, for yours and your childs sake.

xx

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