A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am married really young. I am now 24, and have been married for a year. When I first met my wife, we really hit it off. I was actually looking for a roommate at the same time, and decided she would be a perfect fit. She ended up moving in within 2 weeks of meeting her. We dated for the next 8 months, then I proposed. A year later we married, and now we have been married for just over a year. I am starting to think that we rushed into all this too fast. I find myself not physically attracted to her anymore. Actually, when I think about it, I don't recall ever really being physically attracted to her. I think it was more of a personality attraction. I find ourselves arguing constantly over little things, and I can't even remember a day that we haven't fought. I am at the point where I am realizing she is not the one for me. I know it's a little late, but I am just really confused. I want to talk to her about it all, but I don't want to hurt her feelings. Can someone please give me some advice?
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male
reader, somewhat_anonymous +, writes (20 August 2007):
Just thought I'd chime in to reinforce Enzian's words. Yeah, you should have waited until you know her, and not rushed it. It isn't your age, it's the fact that you barely knew her and are just starting to now.
See if you can make it work. if you can't, split up.
A
female
reader, Enzian  +, writes (19 August 2007):
 Hi thereWell, I personally think, this are exactely the reasons, why one should not marry to early an get to know a person for a few time. But on the other hand I think it happend and now don't think about what you all did "wrong" in the past, but what you can do now from the point you are.You are allready married and now try do to what you can to have a happy marriage. Don't think it is to late for this, because it never is! But better now than later. But don't do the same mistake again and get divorsed to soon. Don't stseparate because you think NOW she is probably not the one. Take enough time to think all about it. And also take enough time to try and do everything to have a happy marriage WITH HER. After you tried long enough and nothing changed, there will be enough time to think about separation. But my recommendation is, to try first everything else.What other people do for getting prepared for their marriage you still can do now - it will may be a little more difficult, but not impossible. Take a paper and write on it everything you like about your wife. I personally think physical attraction is not the most important thing - the personality of a person is much more important. And this you said you like - so this is one very big point! Get some books and read about getting in love with someone and what it means to be married. Talk about couples which are married for a few years and ask them what they do for having a happy marriage and everything else you want to know.And one thing I would really really recommend you: go to see a marriage counselor. Go on your own for a few sessions if you like. And take her with you as soon as you feel it is the right time for you. I'm sure, this will help a lot and it will compensate for some of the time you did not have for the marriage preparing.Hope this helps a little! Wish you all the best and hope you will find your way!
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