A
male
age
30-35,
*acloverdoc
writes:Hey! dear cupid user-reader thank you for taking your time and reading this.I really appreciate what you do! After my 2.5-relatlionship I couldn't like anybody except this girl who I saw on Facebook. She is studying law,so respectful,funny,gorgeous I mean she is amazingly beautiful,she is humble and easy I feel like I am falling in love with her but I mean we are just talking via Facebook. Should I stop? Every single thing she says makes me wanna talk more. She is also 500miles away from my city. But after 6 years I said '' I can marry her if everything goes right'' for the people who think what about the relation ship lasted two and an half Yeah my ex and I were just having fun... Lets get back to topic. Should I ask her number or say I loved everything about you we should keep talking or maybe I should just go and meet her! I started to write a diary for her after we met. I am still writing. Should I give the diary when I visited her in istanbul or just make the cargo business do it for me? Normally I am so funny,educated,intellectual,not shy but when things get serious I read my texts 5 times before send it. I am freaking out! what if she doesn't like me at all. So my question is what to do with her! make her like me! is it absurd that I am feeling this? But you should see her everything I can ask from a girl! sure there are some things which I couldn't see yet but...she is just flawless.
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facebook, my ex, shy, text Reply to this Question
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male
reader, macloverdoc +, writes (24 October 2021):
macloverdoc is verified as being by the original poster of the question Hey there I am the guy wrote this message here 7 years ago. I followed my heart and fell in love with the Facebook girl and we dated like 5.5 years. i bought an engagement ring. Then some family stuff happened we broke up. But till the day I die, i say I loved someone. 5.5 Years were more beautiful then any other romantic movies, maybe our story cannot beat notebook maybe it can. Anyways. It was just interesting seeing my 7 year old message here.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2014): Don't get it in your head you can "make" people like you.
Either they do, or they don't. It's a matter of natural chemistry and interpersonal exchanges allowing nature to takes its course.
Allowing all the natural forces of nature base your feelings on what's real and not perceived. People can make themselves seem absolutely perfect through Facebook; and be a serial-killing boogeyman, or the bitch from hell.
You've never met her, so cut it out with claiming you love her. If I were standing there with you, I'd shake you back to reality. You are smitten, which is nothing more than a big old crush. Slow it down cowboy!!!
You have to be in the same room, spend time together, and she has to like you back. You're talking like a foolish schoolboy. You can't approach an intelligent woman like that, behaving in such an irrational way.
You can arrange to meet over coffee or tea someplace public; if she seems interested to arrange meeting you in-person. Do everything possible to allow her to feel safe. Curb your enthusiasm. Be calm, never place women up on a pedestal. Don't idolize. You'll lose interest the minute you discover she's less than perfect. Then you'll be looking for an excuse to escape, and just leave her hanging.
Keep all that nonsense about being in-love to yourself.
I really mean it. Hide that diary in a drawer. That's too much and too soon!
That sounds scary and unstable. You can't feel so strongly for someone you've never met, and don't try to convince reasonable and intelligent people you can. It takes time for love to grow from what you actually "know" and witness about people. Interacting with them in real-time. Not just online. Nature designed people to be attracted without the use of devices. Devices are tools for communication, not substitutes for brains and feelings.
Pretty pictures and some nice conversations by text messages or phone calls, won't guarantee she is really the girl in the picture. Nor will is that proof she is truly a likeable person. Judge by what you meet in-person.
It's nice you're such a romantic, but a woman would be wiser to avoid someone behaving as you are right now. You must be more practical and mature. Show her you are stable, sincere, and above all...safe to be around. You don't want to sound like someone obsessed. Those kind of guys are creepy and end-up stalking women.
Take your time, keep your feelings to yourself, be polite, and try and get to know her. Be sincere, don't go overboard with compliments. She's not an angel or the personification of perfection. She is an attractive girl you want to meet.
That's all she is for now.
Now reality check. She may not be everything you think she is. You may not be the type of guy she should rush to meet; unless you tone it down.
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A
female
reader, SeaGreen  +, writes (18 September 2014):
 Due to your feelings for this women I really don't think things will work out the way you want them to. You call her flawless which isn't fair on her. She's not perfect and to assume she is setting her up for failure. You are also a bit obsessed with her (which is really unhealthy) to the point you have a high chance of scaring her away. I strongly advise you NOT to send the diary as it's not normal behavior. From what I have understand from your post you didn't even meet her in person yet but you are convinced you want to marry her. You need to stop! Take a deep breath and really think about this. You don't know her and she doesn't know you. You cannot (nor can anyone else) make her like you. Slow down and really get to know her. The only way you can do that is to spend time with her. In person only-online does not (and never will) count. My advice is too think logically about this and ask to meet her in person. Don't put any expectations on her or yourself and stop thinking this women is wife material for you or that she is flawless as this will ruin any future you might have with this women.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2014): Yes, it's absurd. First, you haven't even met her. You don't know if anything she says is true. You're being incredibly naive. Anyone can be anyone they want online to a stranger. It could be she seems so awesome and flawless BECAUSE you've never met her. Not only that, pictures people post online are often filtered or altered in some way. I personally don't know ANY woman who posts unedited pictures on Facebook. Many of my friends are good looking, don't get me wrong. But in their photos they look perfect when in real life they have flaws. One has a little bit of acne, another is a little overweight and has short hair but wears hair extensions in her pictures, and so on. Hey for all you know, this woman you're talking to could be 300 pounds, or even a man since you've never even talked on the phone. Granted, this is worst case scenario, but people have had it happen to them. 6 years have gone by, and she never even gave you her number? Something is wrong here. She's hiding something. Lastly, you can't "make" someone like you. Either they do or they don't. You can't make yourself like a girl you aren't attracted to, can you? So you also can't make someone else like you if they don't feel that attraction. I would stop wasting your time on her, and meet someone in real life.
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