A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Well. I met a guy months ago. We went out 3 times. At the 2nd one we had sex. I was the one who brought the sexual topic to the conversation. After sex we had sex once more. And the condom didn't work. I think I'm probably pregnant. He started asking me things how I feel and stuff like that but after days he disappeared and deleted from Facebook all our friends in common including his cousins. Days after he deleted me. What should I do
View related questions:
condom, cousin, facebook Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2017): You hardly know this guy.You just met him and had sex.You tried precautions but they failed.There is absolutely no point in persuing the dad.You got yourself into this situation and you have to get yourself out of it.In many countries women are allowed to choose the outcome of this kind of thing.Sometimes they take the morning after pill but its probably a week or so past your period time so its too late for that.Go and see your doctor and tell them the whole sorry sad story and they can refer you to anyone who can help you.If, for religious reasons or otherwise you decide to go ahead with the pregnancy and have a baby as a single parent you must be prepared for a vast change in your circumstances.If you decide to terminate the pregnancy then you will just have to accept that it was one of lifes lessons for you to avoid rapid hookups with random guys.You would be looking to make a proper connection presumably in the future.So think about what you want and make your moves or not moves in due course as soon as you can!
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (16 January 2017):
 Well it is clear to see that he used you for sex, he heard you may be pregnant and he has done a runner. Now you need to concentrate on you and what you want to do. Is there a women's clinic in your area where you can go and talk about your options or a family member that you can trust. It looks like you are left to deal with the situation alone.
...............................
A
female
reader, like I see it  +, writes (15 January 2017):
 Now that you know you're pregnant, your next step should be a talk with your doctor to find out how far along you are and what your options are. If termination isn't an option available to you (or an option you'd choose if it is) you need to start thinking about whether you are willing and able to raise a child on your own or whether adoption would be a better choice for you. Involve your family in the decision if you can count on them to be supportive of your choices.
If you decide to keep the baby, the father should have some legal obligation to pay child support. See if your doctor can refer you to any groups or resources for single mothers in your community, as they will likely be familiar with the process.
Hope this helps you. Good luck and best wishes!
...............................
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (15 January 2017):
 Get a pregnancy test first off all and find out if you are in fact pregnant. If you are, then get a hold of him. It's not that difficult, because you DO KNOW people who know him, even if they are not added on facebook. You know them in REAL LIFE and can talk to them directly to get a hold of him. But first, find out if you actually are pregnant.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (15 January 2017):
 Well, SINCE heh has taken himself out of the equation, YOU need to decide FOR yourself what you want to do. I would suggest you talk to your mom/dad - some trusted adult and work out what the next step will be.
YOU CAN NOT rely on him, now you know.
He made all kind of promises to get in your panties with no intention of keeping them.
This is now ALL on you, so what do you want to do? Who can you talk to and who can you trust?
...............................
A
female
reader, Justme2017  +, writes (15 January 2017):
 Firstly, you need to be sure, do take a pregnancy test. If you are, don't worry, things can work out. You can get help, just ask for it. I don't know if you will be able make it work with this guy, but, I feel you really need to find out if you are, and decide what upu want yo do If you are keeping baby, don't worry if he doesn't Wang to be with you, hopefully he will still want yo be involved in baby's life. If not, then baby us better off without him. It takes do much more then just making a baby to be a father.When you find out, tell some friends, your mum, people that won't go on at you too much. You will probably need a bit of support, and if keeping, it is nice to be able talk scans, it is exciting.Yes, it may not be want wanted, to be a single mum. But, you can be the best mum for you baby, if pregnant.You can still have a life, you just won't be drinking for a while.Don't worry, you may not be,your period may still come. But, if you do turn out to be, it isn't the worst thing, just unexpected. If you are, he should at least pay for his child. You can tell him, but don't scream and demand, as this will just make him angry, and less reasonable.Think about you and what is best for you. If you are, you can be the best mum, it may not have been planned but, the best things aren't. Whatever happens be ready, and don't worry.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2017): I got a blood test and I'm pregnant. Also I tried to contact him. Called him many times and didn't answer. He said he would be responsible in the case that I would be pregnant or abortion, but in this case he just disappeared and also deleted me from Facebook. One week ago we don't have communication and yesterday he deleted me...
...............................
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (15 January 2017):
 How long are you proposing leaving it until you find out for sure whether you are pregnant? Just because contraception failed (not even clear what happened, but let's just assume that is the case), it does not automatically mean you got pregnant. (Ask the people who have been trying for years.)
My advice would be, firstly, to have a proper pregnancy test. If you ARE pregnant, you have some extremely important decisions to make. It doesn't sound like this guy will be a hands-on dad so do you have friends and/or family who would help support you?
Even if you are not pregnant, I would get yourself tested for STIs.
Going forward, do you think it might be best if you save sex for when you are in a committed relationship with someone who will not run off at the first sign of trouble?
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (15 January 2017):
First off, get a pregnancy test. You can't make choices based on "thinking" you are pregnant.
And if a condom doesn't "work, don't have sex. (I don't even understand how a condom is not "working"... It's basically a sock for the penis - not much to it as far as using it.... or is the statement something the guy told you?)
You know his name, correct? And you know the names of his cousins. Shouldn't be TOO hard to track him down IF you are pregnant.
So go get tested, either a reliable over the counter test (and DO follow the instructions) OR go see your doctor for a blood/urine test.
After you know the result, you have another choice to make.
Keep the baby, put the baby up for adoption or abortion.
And if you choose #1 - HE needs to be told and held at LEAST financially responsible.
If you choose #2 He still needs to be told as he HAS to sign off on adoption for it to be legal.
And if you choose #3 it's up to you if you want to tell him or not.
You also MIGHT have to get your family involved for their support if you choose ANY of the options.
BUT first - GET a pregnancy test, don't guess.
...............................
|
