A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I've been hanging around with friendship group of about 5/6 girls at school now for about a year. I feel as though they leave me out and that I'm always the one who has to make the effort. They never invite me to go out with them. I'll be on facebook scrolling through my newsfeed and I'll see a post/picture from one of them saying "Had a great day out with_______" but they never think to invite me. A new girl was introduced into the group about a month ago now and even she gets invited out. I don't understand. I haven't done anything wrong. What can I do to make them include me more?
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female
reader, Makayla5893  +, writes (25 February 2013):
That happened to me in high school too. Girls play with social power, especially in high school, in a passive aggressive way. Meaning they are hurting you by leaving you out instead of saying nasty stuff to your face. It makes them feel more important cause they have this power over you. Get new friends, or if this isn't an option, try and get along especially well with the queen bee/leader of the group and maybe the other girls will start treating you with more respect. Good luck!
A
female
reader, when nothing goes right go left +, writes (22 February 2013):
 They aren't your friends.I have met people like them before and they know exactly what they are doing and if you hang around with them when you all are then the thought of you comes up and they purposely chose to exclude you. This is a form of bullying and people do it to have that power over someone to be able to make them upset. The thing is that these people are usually not happy with who they are are. Bullies will do this to make themselves feel better about themselves. And its usually the ring leader who will do this. So you need to stop hanging around with these girls because all they will do is bring you down. And at the age you are then its important to in and feel accepted. Many people find that as they get older that they tend to meet more people and in a sense find it easier to make good friends that make them feel good about themselves and enable them to grow as people and learn about who they are and who they want to be. So you should take control of the situation because when your older then you will back at this as a learning curve and right now you have the chance to take away the power that they have and find new real friends. And don't think that they treat you like this because you have a bad personality because although they might hide it they are the ones with the problems that needs fixing with their personality.But if you do feel that you have low confidence then you should work on that and maybe do some assertive courses or do the social strategies programme by going on panic breaker website and going on the bit to treat social phobia and even if you don't have social phobia then it will still help you to become more confident.Hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, franny1297 +, writes (21 February 2013):
 ASK and join in, next time they make plans just be like "HEYY whats up???". Have you ever invited them somewhere??? do this, try and be fun and get involved. People are just horrible sometimes and there's nothing you can do about it. DON'T PUSH IT TO MUCH, because the same thing happened to me, i had a group of friends and we were all good untill they turned around on me and just didn't invite me anywhere, turns out they wanted me out the group completely, and they did all they could to get me from writing fake notes to not come on school trips to london and stuff, to telling me i have no shape and lowering my self esteem, they did anything!!! all im saying is be careful, because this is the root of a bad friendship! watch your back and good luck!!!
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A
female
reader, Beautynomore  +, writes (21 February 2013):
Aww that stinks that they are treating you that way. I wish I could tell you to just make new friends but Ik it's not that easy. Same thing happened to my daughter. For instance, after volley ball practice I would pick her up and come to find out 3 of the other girls would go to orange leaf after but not ask her. Come to find out it was actually only 1 girl that was initiating the hanging out thing and the other girls had to go because she was their ride home. Is there one particular girl in your group that you really don't like? however this girl is part of the group so you don't say anything? I need a little more info on the individual friendships you have with these girls to be able to help. I understand this is a group of girls but you guys must talk on a 1 to 1 bases at some point. Which one do u click with the most and which one could you care less if she is there or not??
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