A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone, I am 15 and this story if someone was to tell it to me 2 months ago I probably would of said 'how pathetic and ridiculose' but now I am in a silly situation and need some advice and guidance from someone older. Basically I was on holiday and I met this boy there, I spoke to him once for about an hour, it turned out we had a few things in common and he seemed very nice, but our time spent together was breif about an hour or two, anyway I am home now in england and he is home, but he isn't english he is foreign but speaks good english.So I have been speaking to him on the internet, he is 17 by the way and he seems nice some things he told me I didn't like but nothing 'near the knuckle' or rude. Anyway he is meant to be coming over in august to check out the english universities and he wants to see me. I like him and was making plans to see him and we were discussing things 'more than friends' discuss.Then I realized, hold on am I tricking myself here into planning my whole blooming life with this boy I met once and spoke to on the internet. Sure he flatters me and we have a lot in common and he is a very nice boy, but the thing is I am 15. Stupid me can't decide wether I have apparent 'feelings' for him or not. Look the thing is I don't want to have 'feelings' for him, I can't tell if I do or not which is very confusing, but I find myself thinking about him and I don't want to I am 15 and I can't beleive how deeply I went into this silly 'thing'. In my head I know I don't want a realationship with anyone I am too young and don't want one or feel ready, I want to focus on my education and want to forget about him, I have tried not to log on to msn but find I have to and end up talking to him, so I am really gonna try not to and throw myself into my work.Hopefully I will forget about him and any 'feelings' I possibly have will eventually go away I guess. I think the main problem is I have never had someone speak the way he does to me before, I am not use to the male attention and I like it but I told myself a long time ago, I want an education and to be independant before getting into a relationship.I know this all sound ridiculose as I am 15, I am just very confused and am after a little comforting advice and guidance from someone older. Any comment are muchly apreciated I know this problem was like an essay and I apologize. I do like him a little though and it upsets me thinking I might never speak to him again so what should I do? Talk to him little and not so often, cut contact completly. Should I tell him I am not ready for a relationship - but that sounds so silly I am 15. Please anyone can you help me. Thank you so much for reading.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (8 June 2011):
 I think you are responding to his actions towards you. it's very intoxicating even at my advanced age when a man you find attractive pays attention to you....
tell him you would love to be friends and chat and maybe even visit in August when he comes to see schools but don't tie yourself up in an LDR at this point...
A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (8 June 2011):
 I think its fine to still chat to him online occasionally, but make it clear to him that you dont want a relationship and only want to be friends.
I dont think you have 'real' feelings for him, you only met him once so it is not possible to develop true feelings for someone in such a short space of time. It is like you said yourself - you are not used to the male attention, so you are just enjoying the fact that a boy likes you. It is not about him as a person, it is simply the attention that you find attractive and addictive. That is totally normal, most women would be flattered if they found a guy who likes them and they have lots in common with.
But this is where the difference between having a relationship and just enjoying the attention lies. You are allowed to have a little flirt with him and chat to him, but if you dont feel ready for a relationship then simply leave it at friendship and dont feel pressured that just because you are talking to a guy means anything more has to happen.
Males and females can be friends, as long as you are both clear that it is simply friendship and nothing more. Be clear with this boy - if he still wants to chat to you then it shows he is happy just being friends. Or if he actually wanted more from you, and maybe was even out to use you, then he will stop talking to you. It will actually be a good test of his intentions, so dont be afraid to tell him that you just want to be friends.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2011): Its allright if u feel your not ready for a relationship. You can tell him that and if he really has feelings for you, strong feelings, he will wait till your ready. If not then forget him and move on. Because if he reacts weirdly to when you say your not ready for a relationship then he isnt worth it because he's obviously had other things on his mind that believe me you dont wanna get into. You'll live to regret certain things till you die.
If he asks you out, tell him that your not ready for a relationship.
Concentrate on your academics and try to enjoy school and college life. Boys come and go sweetheart. 90% of the time, theyre so not worth it
Take Care
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2011): Well, if you arent ready for a relationship than dont get into one. You can try telling him that also. If you are upset about losing him than what says you cant be just friends with him?
hope that helps, good luck
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