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female
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*oney_Dip
writes: I am in desperate need of help. I have dealing with this guy for a year now. It has been straight sex between us two. He is known to a lot of being a gigolo, hoe, whatever you can think of. Just recently, he told me that I was his girl, but for some reason I don't believe anything he says. We have never even went out around people before. He told me that he changed and he doesn't just go around having sex with girls and using them. I think he is but I can never prove it, I never see him out doing anything. He says that he wants me but I cannot see it. I am here stressing right know because I do not know what to do. When he does come around I am so happy because he make me smile and he knows what I want to hear. The past week he has stood me up like four times and it broke my heart. I told him that I can't del with his crap anymore and that I deserve better. In reality, I want him and he has everything going for himself. I cannot leave him alone because I am inlove with him, But I am not sure if he even care the slightest about me. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2006): Let him go. You will find better.
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female
reader, Honey_Dip +, writes (10 May 2006):
Honey_Dip is verified as being by the original poster of the questionEveryone who replied to Honey_Dip's dilema thank you because it really opened my eyes that I was being used. I just had to hear a few opinions because I was so confused and now I am not. I just thought he needed some time, but the truth is he really didn't want to be with me.
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female
reader, soletshearit +, writes (9 May 2006):
 Listen take my advise, always trust your intincts...cause 99.9% of the time they are right!!! If you can't safely say that he feels the same way then go because you will never be confident about where you stand with him. Play it safe this time unless he gives you a dam good reason for letting you down. Guys that are unreliable are always gonne be that way. you cannot change the way he is and you cannot make him love you anymore by loving him more...look after yourself...best of luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2006): Hun, you are 'in love' with a guy who has stood you up, 4 times, no less, in just the past week. Sorry but unless he has a darn good reason, then it's highly likely-he's a cad and with that likely a liar. Just remember, lying is always an indicator of something is going wrong in a relationship and there is something wrong with him. This is not love, dear and I think you are realizing this and I am sorry. Your intuitive feelings and misgivings are kicking in here bigtime and you should listen to those 'red flags'alerts. If you suspect infidelity in your relationship with him, take note because a person's intuition is one of the most powerful gifts we've all been given. It all comes down to TRUST-not for your bf (because you don't trust him) but trust for yourself and your inner instincts. You now know something is different and you are questioning it. All this realizations about him is creating a huge dilemma for you because a part of your sensible brain is saying " Hey, this doesn't fit" But your heart is denying the truth of what's right under your nose. To deny this part of you, which 'knows' the truth, is creating a tremendous internal turmoil. If the truth as you suspect it is confirmed, you can take a deep breath and at least know that you can trust yourself and your gut feelings.
The problem for many women, is sex drives their heart and they get 'in over their head' with a guy, like you described your bf. You are scrunched up in pain for what he has done to you. You can tolerate his bad behaviour and allow him him to do this, to you over and over again. Or you can dump him fast and allow time to heal your pain. You will heal but think of the stress load, the heartbreak, the constant turmoil you won't have. So I guarantee you...you can ruin your self esteem and entire life by moving towards this man or you can start thinking clearly. Guess which one...I would choose. Hope you do the same.
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female
reader, cfliberal +, writes (9 May 2006):
You can't be in love with someone you don't really know. You've never been around his friends or family, you haven't been on a date, and you don't know who he spends time with when he's not with you. All you have in common is sex.The facts that he has never taken you out in public and expects you to wait around for him IF he decides to show up are big red flags that you're being used. If you're that worried, you can hire someone to check into it or find a way to follow him surreptitiously yourself. But the fact that you feel the need to consider this is another bad sign.My advice is to have a long talk with a counselor or clergy person and sort out your feelings. I think you must not feel very good about yourself if you allow a man to treat you this way. I bet you are a great person with a lot to offer someone who deserves you. But based on what you've said, I don't think that someone is this man. Dump him and live your life for you instead of someone who expects you to be at his beck and call!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2006): Girl, get out now...he sounds like a real player and if he's not showing up for stuff all the time, he's cheating. Follow your gut.
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