A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I'm 42 and was dating a 39yr man for about 6-7 weeks. I fell for him really hard - and he knows it. The problem...he moved to my state from another about 7 months ago and legally still married however to a woman in another state, supposabily they eventually are to split just money matters. They lost their house, foreclosure after she went to another state to live with her mom. They have a 16yr son which mind you she got pregnant 2 weeks after they dated and had cheated on him several times during their early relationship. They didn't get married till their son was 7. Now...given some background from what HE says...currently, when I met him, on myspace mind you and I never have dated anyone from there...he seemed "just" nice, not writing your all sexy kinda stuff..just he was new in town and liked my pic. Anyway, we have had great times going out, he seems all in to me, and yes we have had sex. He'd call or text daily, he never would reply to texts or calls except on his time. I find out a few weeks ago that he is seeing another woman here longer then me, because I literally cornered him into telling me. He says I have scared him because I fell so quickly, yet, he talks about us saying "future" words...meeting his mom (which I did by accident because my truck broke down and he came to help me) and his grandmother who live here. His mom is very ill and he is taking care of her till..? First I want to call him a player..he's still married, seeing 2 of us..well was, but broke out in all truth that he didn't want to tell me cause he knew that would of course upset me and stop me from seeing him, but, he's not looking for a relationship, even though I was. We had talked about that earlier in our meeting. I grew up old fashioned, which he says he loves/adores and how I talk, in being around says I'm funny, which I am kinda a comedian...but I guess what I am asking, isn't this considered a player still? When I was much younger, I guess we didn't see this as that. It was...we just were all dating. Now that I'm older, somewhat wiser and as you can see somewhat not, I never know whether to trust anyone anymore. I feel everyone is out to lie. Knowing he is still going to date this other woman, yet he wants to still see me, would this be something I would want to continue to see "if" or do you feel he's just playing me? How do I know if he is sincere in what he said? I really like him alot, he is sweet, kind and would help me in anything if I asked. He thinks I am very pretty and feels very at home with me. I'm confused and guys just really have me all screwed up. I have been divorced over 12 yrs, and of course his question to me is...Why are you single? Why do you not have any kids? Like something is my fault - which I did tell him about my past, when my past has been with alcoholics which I have learned in that area...but now, I feel lost. Help in all areas please!Thanks for taking the time to read this.
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female
reader, SoftlyCaress  +, writes (27 December 2008):
 Yes in deed a player in need is a player in deed he doesnt know what he wants almost like he wants his cake and to eat it too... I think I would ask him what he does want and why if he didnt want a relationship did he make you feel as if he did. I would let him go and let someone else have him they will probably be doing you a favor as to me it sounds like is wanting to sample a little snack from everyone.. Do yourself right walk away .......
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