A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey, I need help asap. A guy I have known for about 6 years now, we are very good friends has asked me to meet him, I am really scared because I think he wants to have sex and I'm not ready, specially not with him, he's told me he just wants to talk and I said I'd meet him, and now I don't know what to do?????????????p.s He's been giving me hints for a while now. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2009): Are you ready to get married? And to him?If no, why meet?If yes, start by getting committed in words, but no sex. Meet in public places and NEVER alone. Get a chaperone if necessary.If not sure, get to know each other better. Arrange for get-to-know-you-sessions. Group gatherings, picnics, etc will be good options to "see him in action" with other people. This will help you know if he's the right guy.Note: Knowing a him for 6 years not an issue here. Getting to know a person and readiness to get married are.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2009): hey its still me hu asked to question,
he asked me not to tell no1, he goes its serious he doesnt want no1 to no.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2009): hey im the one who wrote this question, he told me he's got family problems and im the onli one he can talk to, and first he wanted to meet in hotel i said no way i dont feel comftble wid the situation now he goes we go to a car park and talk in his car? i felt okay with that until he said the back of the car....... i no one thing for sure i aint having sex with him coz i've always wanted to save myself until im married, so i aint planin on bailing owt now. one thing i just dont get, why wud he want to ruin all these years ov friendship for nothing.p.s i forgot my login details lol
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20  +, writes (20 April 2009):
 The key is where are you meeting him at? I hope that you are not meeting him at a hotel/motel room or alone at his place or something like that.
If you are, bring a friend with you. If he acts offended later on, say, "Well you said that you wanted to talk, but you didn't say what kind of talking you wanted to do."
Hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, Soph.p  +, writes (20 April 2009):
If you are good friends then why are you scared? And if you see him as a good friend then you can tell him you aren't ready :) He should respect your wishes but yeah take a friend with you but make sure its a guy coz if you find you end up kissing or something then a girl will feel like the third wheel, however if it's a guy they'll find something to do hehe.
good luck
xx
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (20 April 2009):
 Take a couple of friends or your big brother with you!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2009): PLEEEASE for your safety, meet him in a public place in the day where there are lots of people. It's very dangerous to go and meet someone who you have only spoken with. This is how a lot of bad things happen to women. Maybe he's not dangerous, but you are still not ready to have sex, so you still should meet him in public. Go somewhere that you cannot be pursuaded. Tell him straight up that you are not intereted in sex right now, but if he still wants to meet somewhere for lunch and talk, then you would love to. If he's ok with doing this, then MAYBE he's ok to be alone with later. Don't be too trusting though.. you'd be surpirsed how low people can be. .. I think it's great that you are not only interested in sex and have declared yourself not ready. Continue to stand up for yourself and for your values.
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A
female
reader, bootyboot +, writes (20 April 2009):
if you are not ready then DO NOT HAVE SEX!!!! Don't let him pressure you. If he is a good guy and you tell him you are not ready, then he will respect your wishes. If he tells you if you loved him or cared for him, then you would have sex with him, he is using you and as soon as you do it, he will ditch you. Be careful darling!
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