A
female
age
36-40,
*ola16182
writes:Hi again everyone, this is an update to a situation I brought up on here a few weeks ago. My boyfriend of 2 and 1/2 years and I had gone "on a break" because he is 26 years old but acts like he is 5 (does baby-talk, has hissy fits) and is very disrespectful (calls me names, puts me down and won't stop even when I say to) but says he is "just joking and doesn't mean it". And he was mad at me because I can't trust him (he's friends with a lot of girls, won't let me meet them, goes out to the bars with them and won't tell me he went out until the next day so that I can't come with him), he also has a tendency of telling lies, just small non important things but it makes me wonder if he'd lie about tiny things, what else he'd lie about.Anyway, we were waiting til exams finished to deal with this, which was yesterday. He broke things off with us. He left it as "we can still talk and hang out as friends, but we just need time apart so that I can learn to appreciate you and treat you with respect, and in this time I want to prove my trust by promising you that I won't be seeing anyone or dating anyone... so that you can hopefully improve with your trust issues. So we are broken up, but he promises he won't see anyone else. He just wants time alone.So basically I am using this time to reflect about what I should do. It's really hard, one minute I am upset and crying, the next I feel empowered and want to move on because I know he has treated me like crap and I deserve better. I guess it's mainly a matter of time, but this being my first and only relationship I don't really know where to start. My friends and family are supporting me but they don't really understand because I am the only single one now of all my friends, and they are all (except 1) still with their 1st boyfriends.I just want help with how to move on? I know it's not instantaneous, but I could really use some tips. I've put everything he gave me and pictures etc into a box so it won't remind me, I'm moving to a new house in 2 weeks (not related to this issue) and trying to stay busy. When I'm busy I'm fine but the moment I am alone I start thinking. Actually I could probably convince myself to get over it. What I really need help with is two other things: 1. HOW do I stop driving myself crazy from thinking what he is doing and where he is? 2. IF he finds someone new (which he promised not to do but..) HOW do I deal with that? I've had this happen once in the past (him and I dated previously too) and I truly remember finding out that he is with someone else hurt MORE than the actual breakup. Because I will sit there thinking what they are doing and thinking how that's supposed to be me with him, and how he is going to treat the girl so much betterHELP!!!!
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a break, move on, puts me down Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2009): Make up your mind to the fact that you and he are not dating now, and will not be together again.After all, you are "on a break" so make it a permanent break. He does not treat you with the respect and consideration you deserve, and acts childishly. You don't need him in your life.When you find yourself thinking about him, do something to distract yourself - maybe vent to a friend, or to us, read a book; watch a favorite television program or movie; arrange an outing with a family member or friend; think of all the things you have to do with your move.Armymedic has given you some excellent suggestions.....and yes, you CAN do so much better!
A
male
reader, ArmyMedic  +, writes (20 April 2009):
 You forget about this idiot and let him find himself a new girl! In the mean time you go out with your mates get a make over, buy some fantastic and sexy new clothes go out and flirt with as many guys as you can, just so you realise you can do so much better than this guy.
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