A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So Aunts and Uncles, here it goes. I met my best friends brother while he vacationed down here in Texas from New Jersey. We got on well, I thought. But he wouldnt make eye contact. Wouldnt stand close to me or even walk by me. He took my son and I out and spent the day with us though, spending money, playing with my son, etc.Fast forward, he's back in NJ. I was planning on moving to New York, but afor financial reasons he helped me realize I may be better off in Jersey bc its significantly cheaper. Okay. So it's veen decided on. Well, he messages me and gets all over my pics and status's on Facebook leaving lovey dovey messages, talks to me alot, wants me to stay with him, etc..And thenn bam. Nothing. Sometimes he wont respond to my messages but he'll read them. Or he' wont message me for days and randlomy say "night", after not having messaged me anything else. I recently began talking to his friend on Facebook, with plans to meet him when I move up there. The other guy was like "He's a dick, he puts on a show, he only wants whats in your pants, etc". He then proceeded to tell me his friends ex gf has hepatits c. I was like whoa. Didnt want to bring it up to him, so my friend decided to "help me out" and told his friend he wanted to see where things went with me when I got up there. I had no idea he was saying this to him. I'm supposed to be roomating with my friend when I move up there. And I have grown to like him, from the time we hung out while he vacationed to all the talking ive managed to get out of him. But with him just leaving me high and dry for days at a time with no real conversation or even a hello, what am I supposed to think of this? He says so many things that makes me think he likes me. From what ive seen, these last 2 years weve been talking, he hasnt had a gf. He works 6 days a week. Could he be shy? He usually gets bold and says these sweet things after a few drinks. Or maybe he just doesnt like me? Its so confusing abd I really need help. Thank you guys!
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best friend, cheap, ex girlfriend, facebook, friend's brother, money, shy Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2014): I dont think neither of this guys takes you seriously.
I am so sorry. They may like you but its too shallow.
Darling a guy who seriously likes you will never confuse you.
He will be contacting you everyday, non stop. He will tell you in person and even surprise you.
Like the guy who inspires me lately, he always have surprises. Sometimes i even put him to the test like torturing him by not responding to his calls. He invited me for dinner i asked my brother and cousin. He paid for it.
I never even bothered to ask if its ok with him. I just want to test him. So far so good. He keeps surprising me everyday.
So if a guy appears and disappear cut contact. Not worthy of your time. Never invest feelings with someone who does not even think about it might confuse you
If i were look for someone else. Not either of them. The dudes are like just dumb n dumber. Sorry. You deserve better.
A
female
reader, MSA +, writes (19 August 2014):
 I don't want to question your intentions with these men.. but I still am not quite sure what you're trying to accomplish with each of them.
My suggestion is still the same as my earlier post - concentrate on the relocation, your son, being independent, and making sure you find a safe place for you and your son to stay. Please concentrate on that first.
Once you're in NJ and settled.. or even as you are settling, Joe and Jeff will sort themselves out and by being physically there, in Joe and Jeff's home town, you will see for yourself and get a clearer picture of where things stand with them.
Good Luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOkay. Well, my post obviously was not clear. I apologize. I did NOT have sex with either men. There are 2 men. My friend (we will call him joe, and his old friend jeff). I have been interested in Joe. And have been friends with him for 2 years. My issue with him is that he comes and goes, as in he quits talking to me for days at a time. I added his friend Jeff on Facebook. Began talking to him. I asked Joe if Jeff was a cool guy, since they are friends and he would know. Plus Jeff wanted Joes approval. Joe then began saying a bunch of bad things about Jeff, almost as if he was angry we were talking. But if Joe were that interested in me, why the lack of communication for days at a time?
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (19 August 2014):
 And they say we southerners are the strange ones. I do believe you found the sterotypical Yankee BS artist...DO NOT move to Jersey or NEW YORK CITY, Texas is home stay here.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2014): I hope your thinking-process is clearer than the posts you have written. Now the other friend is a dick. How many men are you involved with? You're moving in with someone you hardly know? Poor kid, is all I can say.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2014): I don't think you will pay any attention to the advice given, so I will bring up some points you should think about.
Read what you wrote here:
"I recently began talking to his friend on Facebook, with plans to meet him when I move up there. The other guy was like "He's a dick, he puts on a show, he only wants whats in your pants, etc". He then proceeded to tell me his friends ex gf has hepatits c."
Your nonchalant response to this is just:
"I was like whoa."
Hep C is transmitted through blood. It's not easily transmitted to other people; but a bleeding cut or accidental scratch during rough sex might get you infected.
His ex may be using dirty needles.
A friend of his tells you what kind of guy he is; and you come to a bunch of strangers on a website who don't know anything about him, and you ask what's the deal?!!!
The lights may be on, but is there anybody home?!!!
My dear, there are more important things you should be concerned about apart from why he isn't in contact with you. I guess he has proven that he is a dick! Are you so hard up for a man, that you've got a one-tracked mind to see him; only because he played with your son and said a few sweet things to you? The fact he hasn't responded is probably because he got what he wanted, and he has moved on.
You do not know all the details of where he lives or who is is with. All you want to know is if he could be shy?!!! I hope for your sake if you had sex, you used condoms. If you had unprotected sex, get tested for HIV infection after 30 days. Keep a pregnancy test on hand.
Let me talk some sense into you. Your son depends on you to do the thinking for the both of you. His very soul is in your hands. You are about to slip-up and bring yet another child into the world with no visible father; because you blindly go after a guy like someone took a chunk of your brain out. You ignored a warning about the man!
You've got to be smarter about how to deal with men. You don't hear from him; probably because he's somewhere else showing-off for some other naive female. You are going to end-up a single-mom with a house full of children with no fathers; working your fingers to the bone. Where is your son's father? Was he too a sweet-talking dick? Or is dick all this is about?
Go take a cold shower and shock yourself back into reality.
Condoms can't protect you from bad choices!!! That takes common-sense.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI planned on renting my own house alone. But now have plans on rooming with the guy who I have actually met.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSide note; in the 3rd paragraph I mean the guy I like told me his friend whom I met on facebook is a dick, and all of that. I realize that paragraph was kind of confusing. I'd just like to know why a guy would invest time in you, stop, dp it again and then stop. He did mention he sees no point on LDR's. So maybe he's just better face to face? Help!
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female
reader, MSA +, writes (18 August 2014):
I'm confused. Who are you rooming with? The guy who visited you and took you and your son out? Or this new guy you've been talking to on Facebook?
I think it's too soon to think anything. You both had a good day out during his vacation and kept things on friendly terms...
I'd wait until you've relocated to NJ, settle down, and then see where things go with this guy. With you being physically there, you will be able to see how he is in his own environment and whether he is seeing someone else or not. Things will become clearer.
Good luck!
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