A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have a huge crush on a guy I'm pretty sure he has a girlfriend. We met at work place where he is a counsellor and I'm the receptionist. He is quite flirty, always smiling, attentive, is funny and thoughtful. Everytime he speaks to me, my heart skips a beat, and I avoid looking at his direction or making eye contact. I'm actually not a shy person, but he really makes me lose my ground. I'm totally different in front of him, I use a professional tone of voice, I don't pronounce his name, I look away when he is sitting just under my nose (even when he is leaning forward and staring me in the eye, saying something funny). 2 things: First) I feel very vulnerable because he is very charming, very very intelligent, has high degree and everybody just worships him. I'm working part-time in a brainless job, so I can work in my personal projects, but since he doesn't know about my life outside the office I'm afraid that he just sees me as a receptionist and not his equal intellectually.Second) He was quite flirty until few weeks ago, when he came dressed to work with the same shirt and trousers that he was wearing the previous day. He was unshaven and he seemed distant that day. I was pretty sure he spent the night with some girl. Now week after week, I've noticed a transformation, he is not as flirty as he was before, and he has stopped passing by my desk using the excuse to smoke, and all these days, he has been dressing really smart.I think he's got a new girlfriend, and he seems quite happy. How do I fix this? To show him that I'm a smart girl, creative, obstinate with my own career but working temporarily in a part-time job, and how do I know that he might be interested in me, or can be interested in me without me asking him out (which would sound very desperate?). I think he is great and we could be perfect for each other, but I'm afraid to show my true colors, and shy that he might think I'm a nutter!?! Thank you guys!!!
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at work, crush, flirt, has a girlfriend, shy Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2007): I have a HUGE crush on a guy i know but I'm not sure if he likes me the same way. If he does, I'm afaid to tell him. What should I do!?!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2007): Not a good idea to start a 'relationship' with a work colleague just in case it goes tits-up and one of you can't stand the atmosphere and has to resign. That would be you, of course.However, not all work-related relationships end up that way and you could try to break the romantic ice by asking him if he fancied a drink after work to unwind, or something else similarly corny. You'll either get the brush-off or he'll be all for it, in which case you'll have a pretty good idea of where you stand with him. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.As for him turning up for work dishevelled, he might equally well have had a heavy night on the tiles! If his two-day-old shirt was plastered in lipstick you might possibly draw the conclusion that he was with a woman the previous evening but anything else is pure speculation.Get in there girl - he could also be shy in the presence of the opposite sex and afraid of YOUR rejection!Phil
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (16 August 2007):
 You should not think of yourself as less than anyone. There will always be people with better jobs, better skills, better et cetera, and that doesn't mean you're just a small thing that anyone can despise. You have a lot of value and you should be aware of that.
On to other issues, it's hard to tell whether he has a girlfriend or not. And it's also hard to tell whether he really fancied you or not. Let's suppose he does have a girlfriend: he must have gotten involved with her at the same time he was being flirty to you. Maybe he just meant to be kind and amusing with you?
Maybe if you "just happen" to have a conversation with him sometime you will be able to have a better picture of what he is up to. Is there anyone in the office who could give you a clue?
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A
female
reader, auntyluuurve +, writes (16 August 2007):
 well the only way hes going to see ur true colours is if u show them! if he doesnt like ur true colours, then ur obviously not compatible. if he does, then great!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2007): Oh you poor thing! Its so hard having feelings for a guy at work.Firstly you need to stop being so hard on yourself. So what if he is a well educated guy. You are a sweet caring girl and it doesnt matter that you dont have a degree or whatever. What matters to a person is kindness, friendliness and a caring nature etc.It sounds like he is attracted to you but its hard to get involved with somebody in work. I know you are shy around him but why dont you start asking him about himself, even simple things like 'is he going out at the weekend' or tell him he looks really happy today. Maybe then he will ask you about yourself in return. Can you organise a work night out so you could meet him socially? Dont worry if you get shy or blush, he will probably think it is cute!Get in there before you miss your chance. And if he is seeing somebody else at least he might mention her so you will know to back off!Good luck with it
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