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age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: I have been divorced for some years now and I have never thought about sex so much. Last year I had major surgery and I think that played a part in how I feel now. When I joined a dating site I got guys telling me how sexy I am and I even had phone sex with a few of them, and we would type really explicit things back and forth to each other. I had no problem getting them excited and it made me feel good and one guy told me his penis size, he is actually the one I liked the most and wanted to meet but he lives far away. He told me he jerks off and imagines me being there with him. He said he had a secret fantasy about me and wouldn't tell me so I begged him and he said, "Oh no I can't tell you that." I was so turned on and when he said that he would explode in me and kiss my neck I went crazy! He even said he is a little rough and cums multiple times. I am so attracted to the good looking guys that have contacted me and the other guy I like a lot told me that he would go down on me and never stop, and he was really explicit with the details. My sex drive is so high and I don't like to masturbate and I wish that I had met at least one of them. The funny thing is that I haven't had sex in over 4 years. I am not a slut or a whore I am frustrated.What should I do?
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divorce, penis size, phone sex, sex drive Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2013): Not ALL men online are looking for sex; there is a proportion who actually want a relationship but can't find one for many reasons (in my case, Asperger's syndrome) but be specific about your needs on a dating site, and ask for verifiable proof of identity if you do decide to meet.
I don't use these sites myself, but this is what I'm told from people in the IT industry (something I do on a voluntary basis).
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo the person who said I sound a little disturbed, I am in my right mind. Why because I don't masturbate? I fantasize about different guys. I can't get guys to date me and I'm not ugly, so all I am doing is having some harmless fun and they don't know where I live and they don't have my phone number. There are girls and women who do worse things than I do. What about girls in the porn industry? And what is normal for a woman my age? Be a nun or sit home knitting sweaters?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2013): For your age this is totally normal. Women reach the peak of their sex drive during their late 30s and 40s. And since you're divorced, there is nothing wrong with getting some action in bed with the guys.
And who cares if they are younger or older as long as you both are happy? I myself have seen many ladies hanging out with younger guys and having fun (and envied them).
But let me give you one piece of advice. Most of the people on the Internet are fake. I mean they are not what they claim they are. Don't let them make you disappointed. If I were you, I would go out and meet some real guys.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2013): First of all I don't understand why you can't meet guys in real life? Go out, they are everywhere.at least you see a person in person , not over Internet.I am like you, age wise and single. I am too busy and travel a lot to have a companion right now, but like you I really like sex. I think it has something to do with hormones, as I was not like that in my 30s. Much younger guys comeup to me all the time, and sometimes I have a lover. It's easy to choose, they are everywhere. And may I ask, why you don't like to masturbate? It's very unussual quality for a human being not to enjoy touching yourself, especially since you have no sex life for such a long time. I do it so often at least few times a week, that I can't imagine how one without a regular partner doesn't do it!. You sound a little disturbed to me, and all these compliments, and sex talk.. Don't you know by now how men talk? Don't you want some action instead of listening to all of this? Go out, and you ll see, you ll meet someone.
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A
female
reader, theres_always_a_loophole  +, writes (26 July 2013):
 I admit this can be a lot of fun. I used to do it back when I was teenager. It's for the most part anonymous, as long as you don't give out any personal information, such as your real name, address, or phone number. (I think you took it a little too far by talking with these guys on the phone). Keep it online if you must do it, for your own safety. Don't meet up with these people. You don't know if they really are who they say, if their intentions are what they say, and for all you know they could be married already, or even just be in a long term relationship. Would you really want to get involved if that were the case? If you're really looking for someone, I would just go out somewhere in real life to meet them if I were you. But if you really like meeting people online first, join one of those websites like meetup.com. It allows you to find people who share similar interests, and it starts out meeting up in groups in a public place. To me, this seems like a safer way to go. It gives you the opportunity to get to know the people before you spend any time alone with any one of them.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2013): I am a 36 year old female and my sex drive has shot up in the last 2 years.
Thus is what I suggest: sign up for a dating site like match.com. You will meet so many men and you ll be able to go out on dates and see
If you like them enough to explore your sexuality with them.
There is absolutely nothing wrong witn you. I, too, find the younger men super sexy. Believe me, I signed up on a dating site and since them I have met many hot, educated, cool men. I am picky and I only make out witn the one that really turn me on! That's the difference between men and women, we reach our sexual peak much later in life. Enjoy it, you have only one life to live!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2013): Women in your age group are at their sexual peak. Your intense sex-drive is not unusual. In fact, it's normal.
I strongly suggest that you be very careful with these men online. These guys are freaks and any liaison with these characters could be very risky, if not dangerous. Don't get too carried away. These guys are experts at sexting and that's what they do all day. As soon as they're done with you, they move on to the next lonely woman. They say exactly the same thing to her as well. They aren't always looking for sex. They maybe predators and criminals looking for a way to get into your home.
Please do not invite these men to your home or consider meeting them. You may not have the physical strength to defend yourself should things get out of control. You would have a hard time getting an attacker convicted; should you be sexually assaulted, God forbid. If the purpose of your meeting was for sex, you'll have a hard time convincing law enforcement that sex (of all kinds) was not consensual.
Sexual frustration can be very powerful, I know. Combined with loneliness it will cloud the judgement. Do not let this happen. I suggest that you get yourself a sex toy to get some release and lower the sexual tension.
Masturbation is your best option. It is better than being the victim of a sexual assault, or the contents of a body-bag!!! Not to mention HIV or an STD. What do you mean you don't like masturbation? Really??? You'd rather pick up a total stranger?
Compulsive behavior can get you in a lot of trouble. So do not let these guys lure you into any situation that you may later regret. Get your drive under control using a lady's sexual-pleasure device, and find a decent guy for a regular date that can lead to something.
Don't approach a male stranger offering him sex of the top. The odds are against you as a female, that he will get the better end of the deal. He has physical strength to his advantage. Your pleasure may be the last thing on his mind.
You can go trolling on the internet for sex if you like. The guys nearly always come out better off than the females. You have a reputation within your community and probably a job to protect. Don't be foolish.
If you have to date online, so be it. Let things happen in normal sequence. Don't go sex-trolling. It's beneath your dignity as woman, and a person. That is better left as fantasy, the reality can be quite ugly.
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (26 July 2013):
 With respect to you this behavior for a woman your age isnt normal. More for teenagers or bit older. If youre so good looking whats stopping you from going out n meeting men?
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