A
female
age
30-35,
*otttmess
writes:okay, so here is the deal. It's senior year and I found this guy within an old group of friends. He goes to my old high school and somehow we found out that we are absolutley perfect for each other. We have such a great time together whether we are in a group or just us two. I'm not dumb, I know what happens at the end of senior year. Everyone breaks up and goes off to college. I have been anticipating that a lot lately and even though I know its most likely going to end I want to make the most of it while I can. After all, there is a possibility we may end up at the same school because we've talked about it.However, lately there has been some minor issues. He makes money from dj'ing parties..and I have no problem with that. ( he also has two other jobs and is apart of a wealthy fam). well last friday was our one month and he had to work at a party. Heres the problem..its a party that I was also invited to, but because it was mostly his friends i didnt say anything when he didnt invite me to go with him. not to mention it was a lingerie party...he ended up taking me out on sat night to the boardwalk and it was great until we got alittle excited and decided to go back to his. i have been sexually active for years and so has he so we attempted to have sex for the third time when all of a sudden we see a cop snooping, so we decided to leave. I could tell how frustrated he was..we hardly spoke on the way home. then the next day he hardly talked to me..speaking aat night atleast was a usual thing. he only texted me back when i said " good night" just to tell me that he wasnt sleeping. and then three hours later i texted him goodnight and he texted back goodnight love you!( we say i love you) im the kindof girl who backs off if i know your busy, but he didnt even say he was? whats going on?? he hasnt even bothered to text me today either...please help! am i totally overracting?
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2011): Random occasional hook ups? Sorry reader, I assume you are a similar age. No you should not be having random hook ups or taking advice from your peers unless they are more sensible. Try and concentrate on school and your future and find a good sensible crowd to hang out with!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2011): He is just not that interested in you. He definitely wants sex. But he is not taking you seriously nor is he even all that into you.
You should back off not because he is "busy" (no guy is ever too busy to make time for the girl he likes) but because he is not all in it like you are.
You are going to college soon and so is he, perhaps you will end up at the same school but even so that does not mean that he will want to continue what he has with you.
If you want to just have fun with him and just have sex every now and then when you run into each other then by all means do. But don't add more significance to that than what it is, random occasional hook up. If you can handle that than go for it. See it and take it for what it is.
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (28 February 2011):
 Yes, you are overreacting. But its understandable with the stress of school coming to an end, and college looming in the future, not knowing whether or how often you'll be in touch when you go to college......not to mention the embarrassment of nearly being caught by a cop!
Try to relax, don't pressure him, or send any more texts for a day or two, and see if he contacts you.......most likely he will......
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2011): Hi my dear, hope you can take some wise sisterly advice from a 30 something female:)The signs are he is not interested in living happily ever after and is thinking really about himself. Prohably because he is way to young to be able to think about how to treat a girl, to know his intentions for sure you would need to have a straight conversation with him. If you feel brave and prepared enough to do that. But be ready for to accept the answer. It is a good idea if you decide to have sex with anyone at your age that you ask what the guys intentions are after sex - it is a fair question. Questions like 'So if we have sex, what did you have in mind about after we have sex? " About how long would you want to have a me as a girlfriend for? " to make it a bit easier you can do this when not in a stressful situation, e,g, over lunch or at your parents if you can.Don't be disappointed if it turns out you are on different wave lengths about what is involved.Good luck! If you don't mind me saying 16-17 is too young to have sex and deal with the consequences, it does set you up for a bit of a difficult future. If your homones are zinging and zapping try talking to a good nurse or school councillor about what you can do to feel more settled.
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