A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi all. This is the first time I'm doing this and hoping I'm doing it the correct way. So, here goes. I first met this guy when I started university, let's just call him Dodo. At that time, I was only 19. We were classmates and we got close together. The more I know him, the more I'm impressed by him. Little did I know, I'm slowly falling for him but the way I treat him says differently, I would always tease him, be mean to him and I myself did not understand why I would act this way. Then, the next semester, we started to drift apart as we were no longer classmates. Later on, he hooked up with another girl. That night after I know of this news, I cried my eyes out, although i thought I've reasoned with myself that he would never be with me. It was then, that I realised that I really like Dodo and it is not just some silly crush. Dodo was with his girlfriend for about more than 2 years. Throughout that time, his girlfriend gave him a lot of problems, and it aches me to watch him going through all these troubles. I secretly hope thy would break up but after they have been a couple for such a long time, He wouldn't be in my heart anymore, so I have thought. After their breakup, we became closer as friends. By then, I have graduated and am looking for a job. He was there for me through those tough days. My feelings for him came up again, this time I'm fully aware of it. He has gone overseas for a couple of months and I've been missing him ever since. I haven't told him anything, as I'm afraid it would scar our friendship after that. I don't know whether to reveal my feelings to him or not. Moreover, he would be leaving the country for good in probably half a year's time. I told myself, I will be contented enough just being his good friend, but would I regret this decision? If I confess my feelings to him, would that be my biggest mistake I'll he making? I wouldn't want to loose him as my good friend. At days when I miss him very much, I wish that I would have told him how I feel and I would be able to hug him tightly with my arms. I really don't know what I should do that would not break my heart. Dear Cupid, what actions do you think is justifiable? What if he doesn't feel the same with me? And I think he deserve someone way better than me. Please do advise.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (4 January 2010):
Whether you say something, or say nothing, you might end up hurt. So surely it is better to say something to him. That way you at least have some closure if he says no, or you'll have him if he says yes. Worth a chance, isn't it? And quit putting yourself down too. Men like confident women, so be confident and say something to him.
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