A
female
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anonymous
writes:Do people ever truly change?When my bf and I were first together, we had a lot of problems with the way he treated me. He treated me pretty badly and didnt seem to really be with me for who I am. He seemed to only want sex as he would continually threaten to break up with me if I didnt start to have sex with him. This made me think he was only with me for 1 reason so I held back even more. He constantly tried to manipulate me into it by using lines like "if you loved me" and other typical guilt trip lines. His friends treated me like shit, they would pick on me and intimidate me. They would make fun of my values and so on. He never stood up for me. He would either stand their in silence or join in. He continually was flirty with other girls and they were flirty with him, through making heaps of sexual based comments, even talking about the idea of having sex together...right in front of me. But apparently they were just "having fun"- no harm intended. He would also continually grab other girls bums. There was one girl in particular who would say things to him like 'ohhh please dont leave me baby, im lonely without you". These are just some of the examples amongst many other inappropriate things.My friends told me he will never change. He eventually broke up with me because I wouldn't sleep with him and cause his friends didn't like me. After a few months of being broken up...something changed. He came back to me and although I was scared to take him back, I did. I honestly didnt think things would be different but I wanted to give it a chance so I did and things are different. My bf has stopped pressuring me for sex, and he stands up for me when ANYONE picks on me and he is no longer friends with those so called "friends" who treated me badly and disrespected me. He realizes now that if they were really his friends they would of respected him by respecting me. He has also set clear boundaries with those girls and made them stop doing the things they do and hes stop behaving in that way too. Sometimes I think it is too good to be true. We have been back together for 5 months now and everything seems so perfect, but my friends still say....its impossible for someone to change. Is this true ? could of my bf truly changed or not? if he has changed....why?
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female
reader, ForeverDawn  +, writes (4 January 2010):
 I think he has changed guys go through a stage in their lives where all they want to do is play games and follow their boys until they grow out of it and something kind of goes off in there head and they realize there is more to life I think that's what happened to your BF He finally realized that your values are not a joke that your not some crazy chick sleeping around Your someone he can trust and be himself with To much doubt is going to push him away so try to put it aside and believe in him a little it has been 5 months give him some credit and show him that you do see and appreciate him making an effort!!
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female
reader, Tigerlily +, writes (4 January 2010):
It sounds like he HAS changed. He treated you badly and you wouldn't get more deeply involved with him. It sounds like he respected that and found that you were more important to him than his idiot friends. I think if things have been good for 5 months, thats a good long run. He stopped listening to his friends and set some strong boundaries about respecting you... maybe you should set some boundaries with yours now about respecting him.
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