A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, where do I start! My husband and I have been married for 15 years and have 3 children. Over the last 3 years I've found several occasions where my husband had been trying to get the attention of other women by both texting and facebook. I'm unaware of any actual cheating but he clearly enjoys flirting and reaction from other women. My heart is breaking, I don't even have the courage to confront him, I just keep sweeping it under the carpet hoping it will go away. Why would he be doing this? I feel like my whole life is falling apart gradually, I don't know what to do and yes I've found all this out through snooping on his phone x
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male
reader, DragonMan +, writes (31 January 2014):
 Greetings,Bottling up these feelings can fester and cause you to get snippy over anything he does or does not do.You need to vent, in a calm fashion, either with him alone or with a marriage counsellor.The moment you start to accuse over texts and fb messages then things won't end well, remaining calm but to the point will either reveal the truth or resolve the situaiton
A
female
reader, B.B.B  +, writes (31 January 2014):
You have given this man 15 years of your life as well as 3 kids, I'm sure you are a good wife and an even better mom, you deserve respect!!! Looking for attention from other woman is by no means showing you any sign of respect. Confront him NOW and ask him what's going on as you will start driving yourself crazy if you don't. :) good luck.
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (31 January 2014):
 What was happening that prompted you to snoop? Your gut instinct must have come from something he's doing or not doing. So discuss that with him rather than coming out with accusations of cheating, if that's as far as your courage can take you. It's a start in trying to salvage the relationship. Good luck, hope it's just flirting and no more.
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (30 January 2014):
 Why can't you confront him?? You have all the evidence you need that he's either cheating or he's being disloyal. So what exactly is keeping you back? It's understandable that being in denial (aka "Ignorance is bliss") may be easier, but it won't be less painful.
Confront him on what you've already seen, and ask him how he would feel if you were talking like this to other men. Tell him it's unacceptable and that if he keeps carrying on, he needs to leave. He may be doing the whole midlife crisis thing and needing some sort of ego boost. Not an excuse, but he needs to start putting energy into your marriage and not out there playing around with other women.
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