A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My fiancé was out last weekend and I was informed from one of his friends he was walking a girl home. The weekend before he was out and lost his phone and I call it and a girl answers whom he had left the phone at her house.This was the only information I had (besides the girl on the phone telling me nothing happened and it was a house party) I ask my fiancé if he's cheating and I tell him what I know and he thinks I'm stupid and that it's so typical that I would automatically think cheating. I said if the shoe was on the other foot you would think the same and he disagreed. What would be your first thought? He's made me feel like I'm some paranoid bitch who is obsessed he's cheating and looking for any shred of evidence.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (4 April 2017):
 My first thought would be to trust my Fiance but that is because I trust him wholeheartedly. Honestly if you don't trust him then you never will, you should not be engaged to be married if you are having doubts. You both need to communicate more, you need to tell him why you have doubts and allow him to explain.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2017): Of course he is trying to make you look like a paranoid bitch!It is a tactic all cheaters use!Turn the blame on you! Deflect the blame off of him!He is trying to mess with your mind. Trying to make you believe you are the one who is crazy for thinking he is cheating. When, in fact, he probably IS cheating!Trust your gut feeling. It is rarely ever wrong.If you suspect he is up to no good, do not let him talk his way out of it. Stick to your guns.He is doing this to throw you off track. He does not want you to find out!So, try to lay low for now. Say nothing more and watch him. Watch his every move without letting him know you are. Quietly gather evidence. In time, you will see something very obvious and then you can kick his ass out. Believe me, they always slip up and the truth always comes out. Sooner or later.Sometimes even being suspicious a guy is cheating or thinking he is capable of cheating is enough to end the relationship. Always worrying about his next move is no way to live.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (24 March 2017):
 It could all be innocent - or not. The important thing here is that YOU are not sure it is innocent and YOU have reason to doubt him. A relationship needs to be built on trust and you are obviously already wondering if you can trust him. Do you want to live like this for years to come?
What is he doing going out on his own week-end after week-end? What are you doing while he is out walking random women home and partying? He seems to be living the life of a single bloke while having the fiancee sitting at home, waiting for him. Are you happy with the way your relationship is?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2017): One of his own friends was so concerned that he or she informed you he walked some female home.
How very noble of him, but she could have taken a taxi or an Uber. It would look suspicious even if it was totally innocent. Valiance and saving damsels in distress at parties, should be left to single available men; who don't have to explain their actions to a wife or girlfriend.
Leaving his phone puts a different spin on the facts. What was his phone doing at her house? As Shakespeare says in "The Merchant of Venice"..."the truth will out!"
He's engaged, and questionable situations or circumstantial evidence will challenge his credibility.
You're going to marry this man, and should be vigilant of his behavior and fidelity. Paranoia might come from your insecurity, but evidence substantiates your fears in this case.
Don't allow him to make you feel like a paranoid bitch. Just remind him you have higher expectations of him; since he has asked you to marry him. That has to be built on trust.
Perhaps he'd like to introduce you to the lady who returned his phone?
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