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male
,
anonymous
writes: I need someone to smack some sense into me. I get the feeling that part of the reason this one girl dumped me (dated 2 months, long distance, she's 20 in college, I'm 23 out of college) was because of her friends. I never met them and I probably should have and I wouldn't have been surprised if they spoke negatively about the "older guy" she was seeing. Truth is I really wanted to meet her friends but was just kind of nervous about the whole thing. My question is would it be completely wrong and STALKERISH if I messaged one of her friends (one of her girlfriends or I was thinking one of her gay guy friends)? My instinct says yes.
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male
reader, theOC  +, writes (23 June 2008):
The age difference from 23 to 20 isn't large at all, but I suggest that you forget about this girl. What good would it do you if you did find out that it was her friends that influenced her to dump you? Nothing will change. You're still single, so just move on. You're only 23, there will be plenty of women you'd meet. Best of luck to you.
A
female
reader, dangerouslove. +, writes (23 June 2008):
 It probably wouldn't be a bad idea. You should contact one of her friends as long as your doing it with the right intentions. Not to get them to dish the dirty details, but to get in touch with them and get to know them much better. After you have done so, if you think it's a good idea to throw out the question as to why they think she dumped you, then so be it, but you should definetly try to get back in touch with your ex girlfriend and tell her you still have feelings for her and ask why she broke it off.
you could get answers just as easy.
good luck.
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