A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm trying to stay friends with my ex because I'm still attracted to him and the thought of not seeing him or talking to him again makes me sad. Also because I still have feelings 4 him and because it makes me feel happy when I exchange messages with him over the Messenger. I know I should not get back with him because he has treated me in the past with disrespect and given his friends more importance than me among other bad memories of my relationship with him. The problem is that I think he is trying to make me feel uncomfortable or jealous by making me see his online female friends webpages and trying to make me notice that he is looking for friends to go to activities. We almost never went out during our last year of relationship, but now he is acting like the party animal he has never been. The idea of us getting back together is still hanging in the air (only on his head) because we kind of talked about it weeks ago. But there were things (don't want to make this too long) that had to happen before we get back together, so he might think that it's still a possibility. OK, I was stupid and now time has made me realize I definitely should not get back with him. But I wonder if that's the reason he is trying to make me feel jealous. Just so I get back with him or to test my feelings for him. He'd never ask me to go back with him because he is so scared of rejection. Seriously, I know him. I had to flirt with him first, kiss him first and do a lot of stuff first because he won't do it. He is so stupidly shy when it comes to relationships. I don't want to quit talking to him cold turkey, but each time I contact him he tries to make me feel jealous. Any feedback?
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female
reader, auntyluuurve  +, writes (24 August 2007):
 ok, well done for realising that you should NOT get back together with this guy. i know sometimes it feels like because of all the emotions that ur meant to be with someone, but if its not working, its not working, so dont keep trying to fix it. secondly, this is just the nature of ending relationships - one person feels insecure that the other one doesnt want them anymore so they try to make them jealous. either that, or they are just not very nice and are trying to make the other person jealous just because they are a self centred person and they need the attention.
so what you need to do is just not let him know its making u jealous, and certainly dont start trying to make him jealous back because it will just turn into a never ending war which isnt gonna help either of u out. i know its not very nice to think about, but the best thing you can do is slowly see and talk less and less with him. just let it fizzle out and then eventually spend some solid time apart. then after that period you will be able to be friends again without trying to make each other jealous. but if hes still trying to make u jealous after that, then hes a very selfish person and really not worth you even trying to be friends with.
i speak from experience and i know its hard and it may take months and months to get there but it is worth it in the end.
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