A
female
age
26-29,
*lexis23
writes:So I been dating this guy, we had a 6 month relationship and during the relationship, I broke up with him about 2 or 3 times because I didn't know what I was doing, and our relationship was long-distant, and I didn't want him to grow tired of me, so I was trying to push him to move on to something better, but what I wasn't realizing was that he kept telling me that if the long-distance thing bothered him, he wouldn't have been with me, but even though I broke his heart few times, he took me back, and our 6 month relationship turned into a year and 2 months thing. the relationship we had was still long distant, and I was missing him because we hardly saw each other. so I cheated on him but I confessed. he was going to take me back but I didn't want to miss him again and be with someone that I couldn't see so I had to break it off, I cut he chains. I moved on with my now 7 month boyfriend, and I'm glad I moved on. As close as me and my ex were, and as much as I loved him, I don't think that what I did was a mistake, because I got tired of having to wait months just to see him. I wasn't so pleased that I had to be the other girl that hurt him, but long-distance isn't my thing, as I learned from my previous relationship with my ex. So now, I start to miss him sometimes, and start to wonder if what I did WAS a mistake, but then another side of my heart tells me that he's the past, and I'm being dumb. I'm totally over him now, because I don't have any feelings for him ever since I missed him 5 months ago, but I'm wondering if I missed him because I want him back. I catch myself reminiscing the times we had. But then again, I'd never break up with my boyfriend for anything. What are these feelings?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, AgonyAuntJ  +, writes (16 August 2010):
 The question is a bit confusing but i will try to answer it the best way i can..
So you dated a guy in a long distance relationship for a year or so in total, but you cheated on him and therefore broke things off. Right? Well im sure i dont need to tell you but first off, it was wrong to cheat. However you did the right thing by telling him the truth so atleast you are an honest person.
Secondly, i think i understand what you mean about not wanting to leave your current boyfriend, but still questioning if you possibly have feelings for an ex. Personally, i think that this is just part of human nature. Everybody who has loved someone but has ended up without them, often thinks about them from time to time, and sometimes even wonder what could have been.
But you have to know that you made the decision you made because it was right for you at the time. And so what do you do? You stick by that. It was what you felt was the best thing to do in that moment, and now you have a new boyfriend who you say you are happy with and dont want to leave.
I wouldnt worry too much about missing him, as he was an important person in your life who you do not now see. So it is perfectly understandable.
As long as you are not questioning your feelings for your CURRENT boyfriend, as that is obviously not fair on him, and if that is the case, perhaps you should speak to him about the way you are feeling.
Also, remember that you are only 13-15 years old. I do not mean to come across as patronising but you still have a very long time to focus on relationships and such. Enjoy being young while you can and dont try to grow up too soon. I am only 18 years old and i already wish that i had slowed down a bit when i was your age. So bare that in mind.
Good luck.
- AAJ.
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