A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Drunkenly I've looked at an old girlfriends profile over facebook. We've not spoken for about a year and half and separated over 2 years ago... yet, having read that she's in a relationship brings up strong feelings of sadness and envy.Surely after all this time I should be able to accept that the first girl I ever loved, and the first girl to have broken my heart is not with me anymore! Right? There was a time where she meant the world to me, and now we don't speak anymore, but knowing she is getting on with her life still makes me emotional. I too am in a relationship now, and am happy... yet for some reason, it seems that my first love still has a hold of my heart in some way.Is this normal? What can I do to fix it?
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (8 October 2009):
 Andrew is that you? I'm glad you are in a relationship, give it your best shot. Eventually your first love will fade until she only makes you smile wistfully on the rare occasion that she comes to mind.
A
male
reader, FrequentFlyer  +, writes (8 October 2009):
 Yeah this is normal. It had taken me awhile to literally stop feeling heartbroken to a 100% level with one girl that I would say was my "first love" too. As a lot of other fellas here have said know that it ended for a reason and the fact that she doesn't even talk to you anymore? that clearly means she aint the one anyway. Try not to think about her, do not look at anything that reminds you of her and a good example is a social networking site. A site like FB is good because you can hear less and less about someones status's, etc with the icon next to the information you are reading. It's hard, but it is definitely time to move on. You got a partner now, focus on making this relationship the best you can.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2009): Don't be too hard on yourself, you never forget your first love. No one can put a time frame on how long it takes before one can finally move on.
You said you are in a relationship and that you are happy. Why not concentrate on your partner and being happy in your life. Seeing someone else move on when you still have feelings for them does hurt, but two years is a long time, maybe you should match your ex's attitude and not look back!!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2009): I think it is normal to feel that way. The best thing to do is pack up everything that can make you think of her. Control yourself not to read her facebook profile again.
That way, you live happier and will be fair to your current gf. From stories that I heard, first love rarely work and most likely is the most you will ever love.
I believe in first love, we go crazy for the partner. It makes us somehow clingy and obsessive. The partner will take it for granted and problem will arise.
I been through the similar thing. I do everything I can just to talk to her. What I get is waiting all night while she is having fun with her life.
After months living in miserable, I tried to think, it does not worth to feel sad for a person that no longer care about you. There are lots more people around who deserve that.
Consider yourself lucky because you are in relationship. Back then, I was all alone. I just don't interested in other girl but her lol.
Love can be heaven and hell. You are still young. My advice, takes thing slower in relationship. At least, when no longer together, we won't get hurt too much.
It is easier said than done but time will heal you.
Best of luck.
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (8 October 2009):
 Sorry mate - that's the beautiful scar we all carry - our first love. It's OK to feel that way - just don't keep scratching it. Get on with your beautiful new relationship.
Remember you broke up with your first love for a reason. It's easy to gloss over things two years down the line. The most passionate affairs often exist between the most inappropriate partners.
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A
female
reader, OmShantih +, writes (8 October 2009):
 Its a tough one,
When you spend alot of time with one particular person you develop energetical attachments, it can be for people, animals, places, hobbies etc something that you put alot of your energy into and something you get good energy back from becomes an addictive exchange...like a cycle of energy. Now when you take that person away, you miss that energy, and that exchange. Thats why people 'mourn' relationships because they are missing the other person's energy.
What I suggest is that you cut all ties, totally stop thinking about her, talking about her, definatley delete her facebook profile and stop putting your energy into her. Time heals all wounds, if you let it. You will go through the 7 stages of mourning the relationship, as for normal...What is normal?? There is no time limit on getting over something everyone is different.
Everything happens for a reason, everything is a learning experience, she was sent to you to teach you something, but things are sent to you everyday so stop dwelling on the past and start paying attention to right now...There is a big exciting world out there, go and explore!
Love and Light
x
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