A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My ex-boyfriend and I broke up over two months ago. We were together for 1.5 years, and really close friends for 2 years leading up to that. No matter how hard I try to move on, and convince myself and others that I have, I know that I still haven't been able to and am still very much in love with him. Neither of us were perfect, we both had our faults..we're human after all right? I loved and cared for him despite the weaknesses he has and he used to love me in the same way, but towards the end of the relationship we just seemed to be arguing over little things all the time. However something happened which made him question whether he really was ready for a relationship..Soon after that he said that he wanted to take a break from the relationship for a little while..naturally I was upset, but I have to admit I over-reacted..eventually he agreed to take a break for a week then decide what he wanted to do...at the end of that week he decided he wanted to get back together again but within a couple of days he called it quits for good. He said he really wasn't interested in any form of relationship at the moment, and didn't plan on starting another relationship for at least another year or so...He just wanted his freedom, to have no commitments, be a kid again, focus on uni (not to meet other girls if that's what all of you are thinking)...and he's been doing that, and seems to be quite content.We still keep in contact, see each other on campus etc. and catch up regularly - he wants to be friends still and says he still cares about me as a friend..but nothing more..I still love him. No matter what I try to do, I cannot seem to move on, and still miss him terribly. I don't know what to do....sorry this was so long..
View related questions:
a break, broke up, get back together, move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi, thanks for your advice. I've been keeping myself busy lately catching up with friends and uni work etc., but it feels like it's i've just been missing my ex more instead of less. Any spare time I have, I find myself thinking about him! I'm really reluctant to cut off friendship with him because I want to keep communication lines open with him...I suppose it's in the hope that he'll want me back. To be honest, the more I think about it, the more I realise I don't want to be with anyone else. I know i'm 'still young' and 'there's plenty more fish in the sea'..but I feel like my ex is the only one for me..what now?
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (16 October 2009):
You were with him for 1.5 years, and that's quite some time. It will take more that 2 months I'm afraid. Some get over people in a few weeks, others take a year. It will take time, so allow yourself it. To stay friends with him will make it harder for you, so consider stopping contact (give your reason). Then you must make time for yourself (shopping, new hobbies, classes after uni and all that). Spend lots of time on yourself, let your heart heal and when you're ready, you'll find another guy who will be for you.
...............................
|
