A
male
age
36-40,
*oe culls
writes:It's almost two weeks since we broke up. I was very angry at her, we were going through a rough patch. She claims I broke up with her, while she had made it clear that she wanted to be single. As part of my move on strategy, I removed her as my facebook friend. She reiterated by blocking me and updating some nasty stuff about me..I saw these from a mutual friend.MAIN PART.during our time apart, she has been unblocking my account secretly but after a day or two, she would block it again.I took keen interest and checked her profile, nothing unusual was happening apart from the normal facebooking activities.. yesterday, she unblockd me and I sent her friend request.. She took a long time accepting it while she accepted other requests on the same day. THEN, suddenly out of nowhere, she started flirting with a guy she added like a month ago and after they had flirted enough, she accepted my request..I sent her a text in the evening saying thanks for the add (she didn't reply), MY MAIN CONCERN: a) why did she claim I broke up with her when it's all she wanted?b)why did she write all those bad things about me?c)why was she blocking and unblocking my account?d)why flirt in public and then accept back my friendship..e)how do I know that this was just to make me jealous and not something they were doing in secret?f)I still love her, how do I get her back after all this? I appreciate your advice.
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broke up, facebook, flirt, jealous, move on, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, cat lady  +, writes (8 January 2011):
 She likes you! All this blocking and unblocking has taken a fair amount of her time so my guess is, you are on her mind most of the time. This is a mating dance. It's plain as day to me. She's not doing a single thing in 'secret' because she's too busy coming up with new games with YOU. Don't worry about that. She's making you pay a high price for having removed her as a facebook friend, isn't she? he he he That's all it is. The answers for a, b, c, all the rest? She's a woman, silly! What did you expect, for her to act just like a man?
Note: she wants you to respect her individuality and her personal goals. She may not want a possessive domineering type of man; she wants an equal partner. Can you offer that? I said equal, as in equal rights, not that you two are supposed to be exactly alike. She's trying to teach you a little lesson. So, appeal to her intellectual side this time. Talk about how much you admire her mind (only) and see what that brings on. Two can play at this game, young man. Enjoy this!
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (8 January 2011):
 a)Because you did break up with her. You are not a mind reader and you cannot know that's all she wanted- at least not just yet.
b) because she was miffed that you had removed her from your facebook friends . She may have thought : that's rich- he dumps me AND cancel me as a friend.
c) ditto as above- then she cooled down as it normally happens. People get upset , then ( hopefully ) they realize that these Facebook battles are petty and silly.
d) why not ? She is single now and she can flirt all she wants . Flirting and having friends are not inconciliable.
e)you cannot know . In fact, it could be neither one. She may have not tried to make you jealous and not flirted behind your back when you were together . She may just have decided that now that she is single, might as well check what's out there. Anyway, the only way to know if and why she is really into the new guy , it would be asking her directly.
f) I am not sure that getting her back would be such a great idea , even when feasible. You just broke up with her two weeks ago ! because you were very angry at her and you were going through a rough patch. Ok, has anything changed in these 2 weeks ? The things that made you angry, her personality, her desire to be single again ?... No ? Still all the same ? Then, in 2 more weeks you'd be broken up again.
Anyway , if you really regret your decision and feel you made a mistake, and think that your problems as a couple can be fixed,maybe the best is just to be honest , eat some humble pie, and tell her : sorry, I screwed up. I have been too impulsive,I made a bad decision because I was overwhelmed by a wave of negative emotions. I though it over and I feel we can make it work....
or words to that effect.
Simplicity and sincerity are a better strategy than any silly Facebook games.
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