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female
,
anonymous
writes: I'm starting exams next week, and my mum has been nagging me to do revision, which i have been doing for ages. But for the past week or so i've been getting 'close' with an ex bf. My mum thinks we've got back together again, which we haven't, and she won't listen when i tell her the truth. When i went out to meet up with him yesterday Mum went balistic, even though it wasn't getting in the way of the revision schedule that she had drawn up for me. She's just paranoid because when she took her O levels she failed pretty much all of them because she met my dad, and the whole love thing came first to exams. She seems to think i'm going to make the same mistake she did, even though i'm not that stupid. The thing is, there's a possibility that i am now going out with my ex (or about to). He's totally aware that my exams are important, he said that he's going to give me space because he doesn't want to be responsible for me doing badly (which i won't, i'm one of the cleverest people in my year). When he rang when i was out my mum answered the phone and tried to warn him off. I've tried talking to her about it, i've tried yelling at her, i've tried crying and begging her to leave me alone. I'm running out of options. please help.
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female
reader, matron +, writes (21 May 2006):
 Hi, your mum is only trying to look out for you, she wants you to have the opportunities in life that she feels she missed out on.Your ex seems a sensible person, why dont you explain to him that to prevent your mum from getting stressed or worried you would rather get your exams out of the way before you start a relationship, you can remain friends and meet up for coffee and if he's that interested in getting back with you he will respect your needs at this time. You dont want to fall out with your mum so close to your exams you need to be able to focus all your attention on getting good grades. Once the exams are over have a chat with your mum about your ex, atleast by then she will know that she can trust you and will probably have respect for your ex. If he's worth it he'll wait. Good luck LoLx
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