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female
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anonymous
writes: I get really turned on thinking about doing stuff with my boyfriend, but when we're actually doing it it's nowhere near as good as it was in my head. Do i just have an over active imagination or am i having trouble getting an orgasm just because he's just not got what it takes?
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (21 May 2006):
 Ask yourself what's different when you're actually having sex, as compared to fantasising about it. Is it something you can control, like the environment, or something you can't -- like he resembles Jabba the Hutt?
Lots of people have red-hot fantasies that the don't fulfill, because they're afraid to ask their partners. (Sometimes, it's also because fantasies can go places that you wouldn't in real life.) If you think your BF is game enough to live out one of yours, then maybe you should lay it on the line for him, in so many words:
"I have this great fantasy, and I know it might seem a bit silly, but it would be a big turn-on for me if we..."
If your boyfriend actually knows that he's playing out a part in your fantasy, he might be more willing to do a few "extras" that aren't in his normal repertoire.
Talk. Ask. Experiment. Then, just to be fair, he probably has a few fantasies of his own, so you should be just as accommodating...
A
female
reader, Ainley +, writes (21 May 2006):
 ah well fantasy is never as good as reality im afraid well really rare thats why they call it fantasy. but look at it this way he's willing to try them! dont get caught up trying to match it just have fun doing it and that you've got someone that is willing to experiment with you. chin up x
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