A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am still in love with a guy I dated for about 9 months and I can't get over him, help! At the end of 9 months, he moved to another city and we said goodbye, but there was no closure..at least for me. This was two years ago. He was my first boyfriend, although I had stronger feelings for him than he for me. I saw him twice after he moved, the last time was almost a year ago. I just discovered recently he has a new girlfriend. I was devastated and I'm very jealous of this girl. It's been a week since finding out and I'm still upset over it. The thing is, rationally I know he was a terrible boyfriend who never appreciated me, and that we were not meant to be. I don't necessarily want to get back with him, but I miss him and feel bitter that he has moved on and I'm still single. So I stopped contacting him, and I defriended him on facebook so I wouldn't have to see his new relationship on my news feed. This guy was a bad influence and was a negative force in my life, but why can't I let him go? I've dated other guys since he left, but no one has stuck. I feel like I'm losing it! My mind says one thing and my heart says another. I want him back desperately but I don't. And I really hate his new girlfriend which is so ridiculous of me. Has anyone had a similar experience? Please, any advice would do. I know I sound like a wacko, I'm really not, but I was a late bloomer when it came to dating.
View related questions:
facebook, jealous, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2011): oh my gosh! i had basically exactly the same experience! although im alot younger! it was ages ago in 2011, and i was one of this guys 7 girlfriends! 7 GRLFRIENDS!! i felt terrible and asked myself why i was still in this relationship! but then i realised i was in love with him! he treated me like crap but in a way he seemed so sweet in my own eyes, but no one else could see it. i have eventually figured after getting a awesome boyfriend that loves me, that the way to get over someone is to emotionally except that he is gone forever and you know you wont get back with him, and once you emotionally except it in your mind you will feel heaps better, it takes time but its worth it in the end! i feel great that im over him, and once you acheive it the right man will be waiting at your doorstep!
i hope everything goes really well! good luck! you will find the right guy i promise!
A
female
reader, bella5153 +, writes (21 March 2011):
You're stuck on him, you need to let go. What you're doing is not healthy, it's self destructive. He's moved on, you need to do the same. You're only hurting yourself, not anyone else. Sorry if this sounds harsh, but it's the truth... While you're beating yourself up, he's with and is loving someone else. Let it go and move on. You deserve someone better, someone that is deserving of you. Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2011): Wow I had pretty much the exact same thing happen to me, but I dated my boyfriend for only 6 months before he moved. After he moved we tried long distance but ended up breaking it off because we were too young to try to keep the relationship together from two different states. I found out a month later that he had a new girlfriend. I was in the same position as you and I was also very devastated and jealous. I didn't realize how much I still felt for him. But once I noticed I started feeling this hate towards this girl I have never met I noticed that I have to get a hold on what I am feeling, so I advice you to do the same thing! I kept myself as busy as I could to try to finally get over him. I tried out new hobbies, took heavy duty courses in school, I did whatever I could to get my mind off him. I don't know what you like to do for fun or what your hobbies are but I say that whatever they are you should keep your schedule busy with them and try not to think of him. If that doesn't work hang out with your friends, go to parties, whatever works to make you think of something else. But whatever you do don't go chasing after him. If it is meant to be, you will end up together.
...............................
A
female
reader, cupidus  +, writes (21 March 2011):
 You don't miss him or want him.You only are feeling rejected.You are also jealous and why should you be, he was a jerk?Right?Jealousy will only upset you, let go of the jealousy, it's telling you that you may have been able to be with him and also will affect your own self worth.Also though, I'd like to point out that your anger screams from your posts to a point of hysteria, though one has to read in between the lines to see it.Hiding your rage will get you more rage. Deal with your anger deal with all of your loses and tribulations. Deal also with how your anger can set seeds of contempt in all your relationships. You're on your own alone now, be wise, be strong and get to know all about yourself especially the bad parts, we've all got 'em.Best of luck and by all means, use your ex for the next while. Use him to see your faults and mistakes and your graces and your aces. Use him as an example of what you do and don't want, Use him wisely. Best Wishes
...............................
A
female
reader, thegraveyarddoll +, writes (21 March 2011):
I actually went through almost the exact same thing two years ago. i was losing my mind over a terrible and abusive man. i didnt love him, and knew that i was infatuated (that is the key word) but i couldnt get past it. what got me through it was finally coming to the realization that he would never be there...so f it all. i decided to stop trying to date and just be single...have some fun. funny thing-thru this i met the man im still with...and i havent thrown a care nor thought at that bastard again
...............................
|
