A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Recently I went through a real slutty stage and had 4 one night stands for the fun of it. The trouble was each of these times I had unprotected sex.My dilemma is that I want to have sex with my now boyfriend but im putting it off (even sex with a condom) because im so worried that I have caught something (I have no signs or symptoms of infection). I would hate to pass anything on to him.I need to get tested ASAP but im terrified I will find out something terrible, or be obliged legally to tell all my partners that iv got something making me the laughing stock of our small town.I don't want to get tested because im afraid of what might come up, but at the sam e time im flling in love and want a sexual loving relationship with this new guy im seeing.I know what I did was silly and dangerouse and that I would deserve it if I did in fact have something. Im so stressed about this that im just about to call things off with this new guy because I dont know if I could face the test.If I prove positive for something nasty like herpe's or aids i dont know if I'd want to go on living. There is no way I could ever bring it up with a new partner i fear rejection so much and would be alone forever,
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aids , condom, one night stand, unprotected sex Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2008): As others have said, go get tested, but don't think that the world is coming to an end if you do have something. A lot of STIs can be cured. Others, like herpes, can't be cured, but they can be controlled and you can live with herpes. Hell, a lot of people get cold sores, which is herpes, type 1 (HSV-1) and they have no problem with sex. Oral HSV-1 can be transmitted to genital HSV-1, but you just have to be careful when you have a cold sore. Herpes is not the end of your sex life. Of course, HIV is more serious and would be worrysome, but it is still best to know for your good, so that anything can begin treatment.
If you do have something then you would have to tell your boyfriend and work on the solution with him. You should both get tested before you have unprotected sex to make sure that neither of you is putting the other at risk. Hey, you made a mistake 4 times. Don't kill yourself (figuratively) over it. We all make mistakes. I'm sure that you are sorry for it, but you were a slut for only a short time when you were hurting. A lot of women go through that stage after their first failed long relationship. I imagine a lot of men do also. Don't beat yourself up over it. We all do bad things and then change. My wife was worse than you after her failed first marriage and she is a great wife now and was a great girlfriend when we started dating.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (14 October 2008):
 Good girl. I hope you come through with flying colors, let us know.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2008): I am the original poster of this question. I just wanted to say the reason for the 'slutty phase' is i have only ever been in one relationship...of 10 years which ended 6 months ago. I had never been with anyone else. I dont know why i did have unprotected sex, i think its because my partner and i never used condoms so its just not something that i automatically think of during sex...bad I know considering 28.I have no intention of putting my boyfriend at risk. We havent had sex at all because i dont think that condoms are 100% effective. I will book in for the test tomorrow but if I'm positive for ANYTHING I'm going to end it. How could you tell a person you love and that you want to think highy of you that you have a disease. I couldnt do it.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (14 October 2008):
Pull that head out of the sand and go get checked. Ignoring or avoiding the situation is no solution. You probably are A-okay but if not you will need to take care of it sooner or later. It's private business and no one needs to know except yourself. Quit stalling.
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A
male
reader, Boredatwork  +, writes (14 October 2008):
 Why dont you suggest that you go and get tested together, so that you both know eachother are safe?
That way if either of you has anything the other one will be there to support the other.
Dont risk passing anything on to your partener, play it safe :)
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