A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I feel like a fool! After meeting up with a guy I met on a dating site I did something completely out of character.....I slept with him on our first date! He was a real charmer and kept flattering me telling me I was beautiful etc......he bought me wine and I'm normally teetotal so I was a little drunk too....Before I knew it I was back at my place and he was telling me it was ok to make love and that he loved me! This was two months ago and looking back now I can't believe I allowed it to happen! I'm 30 years old, I've had two previous long term boyfriends and with both of them I waited a month before getting physical. I admit, at the moment, I'm very vulnerable. I have VERY low self esteem and am excessively lonely. But I still feel like an absolute idiot for allowing him to make love to me so soon. For a while our relationship continued and was really good. It seemed that my stupidity wouldn't have any major repercussions because there did seem to be a lot of strong feeling between us and it appeared he hadn't lied about loving me. However, recently, it's begun to go downhill. He barely calls me, hardly ever comes round (he lives 100 miles away but it shouldn't be insurmountable) and has stopped saying he loves me. He's away for five days at the moment and I haven't heard from him since he left (I asked him to call me the day before he left but he didn't). I feel stupid, used and confused. It is true that when we're together everything else melts away and it feels good BUT the moment we're apart (and we're apart the majority of the time) I start worrying about everything and get anxious that he's never in touch. I think I want to end it but it scares me. I hate hurting people and I don't want to upset him. It also adds to my regret about sleeping with him so soon. This is the start of the relationship, a time when I should be carefree and full of love and excitement about the future. Instead I'm constantly worrying, full of regret and confusion......how can I have been so stupid?! Is it time to end this? Whenever I've bought up my worries and doubts with him he's always got angry. He doesn't understand why I can't just chill out and take things as they come. But I'm just not that type of person. So confused!
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female
reader, mssad  +, writes (10 July 2009):
I had a date last week. He was telling me how pretty hot I was etc. next thing I know I'm falling for his BS.two glass of wine that's it then we went back to his place and the next day, but the thing I'm rebounding right now I'm still broken hearted and I need someone right now and I haven't talk to him about when we get together again I think I blew it.
A
male
reader, Guitarboy  +, writes (31 July 2007):
 I'd be more concerned that he said he loved you so early in the relationship. It may have been a way of manipulating you into giving him sex. Since the two of you don't live in the same city, I would try to pursue a relationship with someone else. It's hard enough to have a relationship without all the games, much less one that requires an hour's drive. He's behaving the way a man behaves when he's pulling away.
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A
female
reader, sexi  +, writes (31 July 2007):
 Hiask him to give you a straigh answer as to where you stand in his life.If he wants a serious relationship then he must change the way he acts towards you as this makes you unhappy. If he doesnt want anything serious then you should end it. You don want to life for the moment and then when he decides he wants to up and leave, you would be left with a broken heart.he needs to give you some security because at your age you are probably looking for something more then a mere relationship. You want something that is sable and if he is not prepared to give this to you should look for it elsewhere. He needs to give you a straight answer, so you know where you stand in his life.
Good Luck
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