A
female
age
36-40,
*ittle_laura0
writes:hi, i'm a 20 yr old girl and i've recently met this guy who works at my gym. we went on 1 date on boxing day, which was great fun and a couple of days later i met his mum and stayed the night. we talk for hours and had a great time and I ended up sleeping with him that night. we had also slept together on our first date.the following morning, after i left, he didn't text me and when i contacted him asking to see him, he kept making excuses not to see me and became quiet and distant.last night i went to the gym where he works, to do my usual work out and it appeared he was avoiding me. after i finished my routine, i went to him to say hi and he was very short and quiet with me so i went home and now he hasn't text or called.what am i doing wrong and what can i do to gain his interest in me again?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2008): You've been used & abused love, dont fall for the same mistake again!!
Take Care
A
female
reader, robynnex +, writes (10 January 2008):
 ughh typical man.
you can do better i would forget about him.
x
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A
male
reader, chlez83  +, writes (10 January 2008):
Hey don't hit on the guy so much.Some girls also lose interest if you don't sleep with with them after a while.Yes i also agree that sleeping with him might and probably has spoilt things between you.He must have been planning on taking things slower than you did and was amazed at how lucky he got with you which probably freaked him out.Or maybe has issues he's never told you about and sleeping with him just made him unease.You really can't force him girl.Give him space and if he's still interested he'll get in touch but if you are brave enough you can continue trying to catch his attention and whatever more you want from him.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2008): hey there sweety
You know what you are doing noting wrong as we all know some guys are just pig.They can make you feel like you rock there world and that you just the rigth one for them but as soon asw they get what they want you are everything except what they told you are.
Guys always get a way to make a girl feel like she cant do anything right but the thing is is not us its them coz they are totalley mess up.So my advise ignore him make him feel like noting.Beat him at his own game coz that is what he and most guys do they play a game and i think its time to play back and start beating them at there own game.I dont think any girl desurf to be hurt or dis respected like this
Even if you slept with him you still not in the wrong they are
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A
female
reader, broken-hearted-girl  +, writes (10 January 2008):
You must not blame yourself here. He is obviously a jerk who only wanted one thing and then didn't have the decency to tell you that he didn't want a relationship with you... Sometimes guys are cowards and they find it easier to be distant and jerky in the hope that we'll get the hint and move on. But he's the one in the wrong, not you! Delete his number and don't even ask him what's wrong with him, sometimes no answer is your answer. He should've been upfront with you from the beginning about what he wanted.
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A
female
reader, hello1 +, writes (10 January 2008):
 You gave it up too easily, that simple really. You should move on from him, next time get to KNOW a man before you sleep with him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2008): Dear that's what you get when you give them everything without getting to know you or without letting them fight for it. Men like challenges and now he feels he have experimented all the intimate things you can possibly share with a person but doesn't know you as a person. I believe he feels like obligated to start a steady and serious relationship with you. Also, he might have lost respect in you because of you making it all available for him so quickly. Now his mother will start asking for you and saying how much she likes you and who wants that kind of pressure? Maybe his mother is the controlling type (my mother is and most people who know us wouldn't believe me because she fakes the opposite) and if that's the case he might feel tempted to do the opposite of what mom wants him to do.
He's quite a reptile for doing this to you. The only thing you can do to regain the lost respect is to ignore him. Try to change gyms and never ever go back asking him what went wrong. You can give him a piece of your mind and leave but never act as if you are expecting anything from him. It's obvious this guy has fear of intimacy and will continue to avoid you. Do not let him do so anymore.
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A
male
reader, SamuraiRick  +, writes (10 January 2008):
 Have you ever heard of the phrase why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? Not only did you give him the milk for free you did it on the first date. This is not about him respecting you or not, but in plain simple terms you already gave him what he needed...a sexual fix. And all that friendly time you spent before you had sex with him, call that what it is...seduction. If he truly were interested in pursuing a relationship that goes further than the sack, then he clearly would have reciprocated in more ways then he has already shown you.
You should face the facts here and consider yourself just another sexual conquest for him. It’s hard to swallow I know. You are still young and probably haven’t run into this kind of guy, but yes they are out there. Once you have sex with them its bye bye baby!
So my best advice for you is to take this for what it is ...a nice pleasant time with a guy you liked but couldn’t go further with. Leave him be and find another guy that can truly like you for more than your sex. Next time if you really like the guy, don't sleep with him so soon and make him wait a while. If you are worth it he will wait, and so should you. Make him earn and respect your love.
When you have sex with a guy on the first date you are telling him I want to fuck you, not I love you. With a lot of us guys sex and love are two separate things. For women, most women, sex is an expression of love as it should be, but with a lot of guys sex is just sex.
SO again I say if you want to get serious with a guy, and you really think you like him, make him wait...go out a few times before you go to bed so soon.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (10 January 2008):
 Hi,
I agree with starfairy, he is most likely one of these guys with double standards who believes a girl who puts out on the first date is easy.
Although I would add him taking you to meet his mum doesnt really support this theory too much. How did you get on with his mum? If he is a mummies boy its quite possible she told him to steer clear of you. If you slept with him in his mother's house this could also have something to do with it - she may be old fashioned and believe you have crossed a line.
In any event you are well rid of him, if he is this superficial then you are better off without him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2008): Hi Hun firstly I just want to say dont blame yourself for this guy not wanting to see you again! Unfortunately starfairy is right some guys lose interest once they have got what they want. If he is interested he will let you know, maybe the next guy you meet though you should take things a little slower! whats the rush?? if it's a relationship your after they dont usually develop after first date sex!! chin up and move on xx
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (10 January 2008):
 He just wanted friendship and is afraid of commitments.Maybe he felt that you have moved too fast in your relationship and he is calling a time out. Maybe , he felt that you were coming on too strongly and he cannot breathe. He need more space to think over the chain of events.
You need to give him some space and let your friendship develop gradually.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (10 January 2008):
He just wanted friendship and is afraid of commitments.Maybe he felt that you have moved too fast in your relationship and he is calling a time out. Maybe , he felt that you were coming on too strongly and he cannot breathe. He need more space to think over the chain of events.
You need to give him some space and let your friendship develop gradually.
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A
female
reader, starfairy +, writes (10 January 2008):
 Unfortunately, sleeping with him so soon was probably the wrong move. Certain types of guys lose interest once the quest for sex is gone.
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