A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This question is specifically for teachers to answer, but if anyone else wants to have their say then that would also be appreciated.If a pupil gave an innocent love letter to you (by innocent, I mean that she made it clear she is aware of the boundaries and expects nothing from you) How would you feel; Flattered? Scared? Concerned?Also, how would you get the situation sorted out?The reason for asking this is because I did the same thing and I want to have some idea of how this teacher was feeling? And also whether the consequences of my actions were too harsh.
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female
reader, mysterious_blonde_lady +, writes (28 July 2009):
Oh. Well how nice of him to make sure to protect himself. (by informing the head). I wish you hadn't gave him a love letter, what happened is standard procedure your teacher was protecting himself from a 'love sick obsessed teenager who might make accusations in the future' how charming. How he was feeling?? This is difficult to determine - firstly; scared by the sounds of it, otherwise he wouldn't have reported it. He would have been flattered as any human being is but mostly scared. Especially at your age, seeing as most students who send love letters are usually under 15. Not a great decision, but no matter you can laugh and say 'oh yeah.. i was a bit silly.' from now on. I don;t think any answer on this question will make you feel any better. In future, if you say anything to your teacher; make sure it is verbal - that way you can deny it if needs be.
A
female
reader, xxpenniferxx +, writes (8 June 2008):
I wouldn't do this - teachers can't act, they will have to take it seriously as the letter has been written seriously.
You'll feel humiliated in a few months wondering why you did it.
If you wanted to let your teacher know you fancy him, just in a friendly way cos he'd be flattered, just get your mates to give real big hints to him and he'll laugh along and figure it out.
Your teacher will only go to the head if he has been told about your crush in a serious way. If its friendly and innocent it will be fine.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (1 June 2008):
I'm not a teacher but I answer millions of "I fancy my teacher, do I tell him?" questions on here.
I always tell them not to tell the teacher or make a move because as soon as they do, he / she will have to report it.
Teachers have to go straight to the head because if they didn't tell someone else what was going on straight away then you could feel rejected and make accusations against him which would ruin his life and his career and have people putting bricks through his window.
He did the right thing to protect himself, which unfortunately is very bad and embarrassing for you.
As for what you put him through, it probably was a bit embarrassing for him too and he probably felt bad for making your life hard and getting your parents dragged in to hear about it - but I think he'll know he did the right thing so will be fine. Don't worry about it!
Good Luck!! xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSorry I don't think I was clear enough about the situation. This happened early this year and was sorted out by the headteacher. I'm just worried about what I put him through, and also if the way in which the situation was dealt with, (my parents being informed, then the three of us having to attend a meeting with the headteacher so he could lecture me) was too harsh, or whether it was the most appropriate thing to do? Cheers to the other posters for their answers :) xx
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A
male
reader, Peterk5699 +, writes (1 June 2008):
 I think your teacher will just laugh it off as one of those "student-fancies-teacher" sort of things.
I do believe that it is against the law for a stdent to have any sort of relationship with a teacher. It's likely they'll get sacked though and you possibly kicked out of the school/college.
Trynot to get too obsessive etc with your teacher becase the only thing they'll do is burst your bubble.
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A
male
reader, Uncle Sneaker +, writes (1 June 2008):
 I'm not a teacher, but I've been a school governor.
I'm assuming this was a male teacher you wrote to? Either way, the answer is basically the same.
The teacher will probably smile, feel flattered, and put it away with the dozens of others he has received over the years. He should, depending on the policies at that specific school and that education authority, also let the headteacher and/or the governors know about it - but most probably it will be only the headteacher and in many cases teachers don't actually bother to do anything unless they think they have a real problem.
It's well known that male teachers who are young and reasonably good-looking will have at least ten percent of the girls they teach in love with them to some extent. It also applies to a lesser extent to the older and not so good-looking teachers, and female teachers frequently have to reject advances from both boys and girls.
If your letter made it clear that you know the boundaries and expect nothing, then I don't think you have anything to worry about. Unless you are incredibly unlucky (like you've sent this to a teacher who has some sort of chip on his shoulder or a reason to make trouble) or there is more you should be telling us, then I don't suppose you'll hear anything more about it. He might even say thank you for the letter and assure you it was very nice - or, probably at worst, he might make sure a female teacher is present and then give you a lecture on how you can't go around writing love letters to your teachers.
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