A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: im in a bit of a mess and would love some advice,i went to a work party on friday night and a guy i work with who ive always liked but had a feeling he didnt like me (name calling teasing ect) went aswell we started flirting with each other and i asked why are you doing this you dont like me and then he kissed me...anyway it went from there we went to get a cab and then he decided to tell me he had a gf so i just walked away..i got half way down the street looked back and he was just sitting on the street something told me to go back for him so i did he saw me and went what are you doing so i kissed him and said i didnt care anyway we ended up in bed together but just as we were about to have sex i felt really bad and told him to stop..he said fine its ok..so i ordered a cab home and he started to beg me to stay the night but i left and went home. i far as i know no one in work knows we ended up in bed together but they did see us kiss at the party now some people in work arent taking to me i dont know what to do, as they thought i knew he was with someone.also yesterday an ex who i really miss sent me an email :hi ive seen you a few times now in town and i havent had the balls to say it im sorry about everything before i dont know what i was doing, i did really like you i just wasnt ready for a girlfriend, i should of told you instead of not seeing you again, hope you understand and would like to see you sometime just catch up or something...Xwe had a good relationship..but he just suddenly cut me out at a really bad time in my life (my grandma was going through a painfull death), do i trust him?anyway back to the guy in work i really like him and think we have a good connection he says he doesnt love his girlfriend and she doesnt matter, but i dont think he'll leave her...it makes me feel sick i cant bear the thought of him with her
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female
reader, lexilou +, writes (1 June 2008):
Ok he says he doesnt love her then he needs to finish with her first and then you can maybe pick up from there. However if he was prepared to just jump in to bed immediately with you without any soul searching then would you ever be able to really trust him.
Im not saying that anyone who can hook up with someone else when their alrady dating is untrustworthy, I was datin when I met my now husband but it took months for me to fall for him and even though I knew it was wrong to even meet him for coffee etc, I didnt love the other guy, but I certainly didnt sleep with him until I knew the other reltionship was over.
Tell him if he is really interested he needs to sort his life out first.
As for the other guy he sounds as though he is feeling guilty but as he says he just wants to catch up I dont think he wants a relationship again so I would say walk away so you dont end up hurt again
Good luck!
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