A
male
age
41-50,
*rushed09
writes:please help.I am about to loose my wife of nine years due to my constant lying. the lying wasn't malicious . we have 3 kids and i want to to get this fixed she has not made up her mind. i have hurt her and she says she does not know if she can trust me anymore? i start marriage therpy next week . please help Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2009): there is always hope, there is always a chance, and don't let anybody tell you otherwise,
winstill churchill had said: never, never,never give up!
So ask her for mercy and don't be afraid to cry or be at her mercy, just say it like it is, admit your weakness/fault, just don't tell them about relationships cause they might get jealous and in their emotional state they will be very upset, that's how women are...
but just be for real, tell her how you feel, admit your wrongs and do believe that she will forgive you, a woman wants to save men from their troubles and they have lots of mercy, so go ahead and make that move, I know you can do it, I'll be your cheerleader!
A
female
reader, SoftlyCaress  +, writes (2 January 2009):
 You are doing the right thing going to therapy but most of all you need to prove to her that you can change . Its easy to say your going to but doing it is hard and making her believe it is even harder . Just start being honest dont hide anything and go ahead and start your therapy and then if you do good and she still wants to leave then it wasnt the fact of you lying anyways it was the fact that she was just looking for an excuse to get out it happens . you just do what you need to do and take it one day at a time .
GOOD LUCK!!
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A
male
reader, pinkey1981 +, writes (2 January 2009):
You have to realize that if you lie about small things that she obviously isnt gonna trust you when she asked you about something big and trust is what holds most people together even if they are just friends. Your doing the right thing. Counseling will go a long ways to putting you on the path to being honest again. Remember that honesty is the best solution to problems. I think you can gain her trust back but expect to have to earn it back. Watch what you say around her and really be honest about everything. One lie will lead to another. I have personally dealt with this as one of my best friend is current on the verge of losing his wife of 20 years over the same thing and she really is tired of it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2009): You mentioned that your lying was not malicious. If people on this site truly want to help I think that they need to know what type or form of lying took place. I know you don't want to give yourself away, but if you desire help you have to open up. I also found it interesting that you said "I" am starting marriage counseling. Are YOU going to be the only person at the session? Do you have a tendency to insist on your own pleasure and satisfaction before your immediate family? Just a thought. Marriage is difficult. I wish you the best.
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