A
male
age
26-29,
*osh141644
writes:I screwed up majorly so i was invited to go with a group of 4 to hang at the state fair. great idea! i was thinking, yo, thus gives me a chance to hang with the girl i really like and i can drop hints about my feelings for her and she of she responds. the group was me, the girl, her brother who is a little younger and her friend who is mine as well. One thing you should know about me is that I've never been to a fair or ever ridden on any attractions so i was nervous. we all rode over together and all get tickets and whatnots. we begin to go on rides, i sit out on just a few, but go on almost all of them. after about 3 hours, we all get some lunch and i suggest that we mix up how we ride together. before it was me and her brother and the two girls, since most rides are two people deal. they said no to the idea, but said maybe later. at last, the day was coming to the end and our last ride would be the giant dropping one. i was 100% terrified, but i said i would go. we got in line and we neared the front. I said i would only go on this if i got something out of it as a joke. we all came up with ideas and laughed at a few. i lastly brought in how about a kiss?. i laughed while saying it to try to make it seem as jokingly as possible. as soon as i said it, she clammed up and got really quiet. She said if you really don't want to go you don't have to. i said i was joking and bailed on riding it. the walk to the gates was so awkward. i eventually pulled her to the side and apologized and whatnot. she said whatever and i immediately knew she was really pissed off and i kept on saying sorry and apologizing bc i know when a girl says whatever she really means the opposite. We finally left the fair and i got home and immediately called her the next day. she never picked up but i left a message apologizing and whatnots. i even sent her a quick text or two c we text almost everyday, well before this. now we don't ever talk and its been more hand a week. i feel now she hates me and i screwed up a friendship and that it will be awkward between us until we part to go to college. what did i do wrong?what can i do to fix this?help please.... thank you
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female
reader, Innovation  +, writes (29 July 2012):
 You went wrong by bringing the kiss thing up in front of everyone else but don't worry she gets that your sorry just stop apologising now cause you will sound needy.
Also just tell her how you feel, girls like honesty and if you don't tell her you could stop talking forever. Good luck :) (to be honest some girls over react sometimes :/)
A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (29 July 2012):
You need to stop apologising. She knows that you’re sorry and didn’t want to offend her, just keep saying hello and trying to act normally when you see her and it’ll help the awkwardness pass. The more you keep mentioning it, the more you re-enforce that awkwardness. The thing you need to decide now is whether you want to tell her that you have feelings for her or not properly. If so, tell her how much you like her, that it was your clumsy way of letting her know how you feel. But you should also tell her how important the friendship is to you and that you value her as a friend and don’t want to lose the friendship. Be gracious and accept the answer you’re given if it’s not what you want to hear. Also, don’t beat yourself up about this incident. You made a joke that she didn’t find funny, you never meant to be hurtful. Everyone’s accidentally offended some-one at some point in their lives. She really doesn’t hate you, she’s just going to be a bit shy around you for a while.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2012): Where you went wrong is that a girl wants to be kissed because there is a mutual attraction there, and because she wants to kiss that particular person, not because she feels forced into kissing him. I honestly have been in her situation and I felt very uncomfortable, and lost interest in the guy, because if I were to kiss him I want it to be because it is something we both want, that happens naturally, not because I was pushed into it. You did do the wrong thing, and now you have learnt the hard way not to do that in future. You have apologised, but you may have been apologising too much. Just because you apologise, it does not mean that the other person has to accept your apology. My suggestion is for you to leave her alone for a while, let her get over her feelings of anger, and then just casually say hi, and ask her how she is. I don't know if she will ever be your friend again, she may not ever be interested in you the way you want her to be. After a few weeks, you could send her a message saying I know I said the wrong thing, I have apologised for what I said, I hope that you and I can be friends again when and if your ready to. Then leave her to make her decision, if she does not start talking to you again then I am afraid there is nothing more that can be done. Good Luck
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A
female
reader, cute angel  +, writes (29 July 2012):
 Umm I think you just pushed it too far..it seems like you were in a hurry to let your emotions out and not wait for the opportunity,had you done it smoothly things would have been otherwise..and considering the girl is in the age group of 13-15 she would obviously tend to over react..Rather than making jokes about a kiss,you could have asked her out nicely for lunch may be,get to know each other first..may be you making that statement made her feel that 'oh boys all they think about is girls,kiss,and what not'lol..you might have said it as a joke BUT she's young and so are you,had you been an adult the girl would have laughed it off but a girl your age will take it a bit more seriously..Second thing after you did that you should have bombarded her with aplogies it isn't that big of a crime..you shld have said it once from your heart and got done with it,you kept aplogising will make you look like u'v done something majorly wrong and the girl will like the chase..And then you went back and texted???not needed..you were being nice I agree but then again why aplogise soooo many times..What you do now is talk to that common friend and tell him to talk to her,and ask her why is it bother her so much!and just let it go and give you another chance..you continiously texting her is not going to change anything cause the girl seems pretty stubborn..Once you find out just send one last text say, 'hey I don't know why this has gotten to a stage where we are not talking,had I known it would hurt you so much,I would never say it,cause honestly I was just joking and having fun,next time I'm going to watch my words and be a bit more careful,but for me to do that,you need to give me a another chance BUT I am not going to force you. If you can let this small joke of mine go and start a new chapter it would be great,if not I'l know that I lost a friend over something so small and live with it..!take care..So just send this text to her see what she says and don't annoy her after if she can't take jokes then find someone who can..don't run after someone,the more you run after them the more far away they will run from you..Good luck x
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