A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Sorry in advance if it's long and thank you for reading. I've been with my boyfriend for 1 1/2 years. We're very serious and talk about marriage. Back in October we took a break because of the way I was treating him. I treated him horribly when he was nothing but nice to me. We got back together late November and have been together. Last night me and a friend were dropping another friend at her friends house and we happened to be by my boyfriend's new house. So my friend said she wanted to see it. As we were approaching, he was walking out with a girl. We stopped the car a few houses down and watched. He walked the girl to her car, hugged and gave her a quick peck kiss goodbye. I haven't said anything to him yet because I am simply devastated and I don't know how to approach it. I must be sick in the head because I want to give him a second chance and I know if i come lunging at him with this he'll end it and I don't want that. Any advice on what to do or what to say would be so greatly appreciated!
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a break, got back together, kissing Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2012): Be strong...you obv wernt right for each other. even if you did get back together you would never trust him. dont waste anymore of your life on this...move on and enjoy life and eventually you will find the right one.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2011): Read your update. Sorry ot hear how the situation turned out as I was going to advise that it could have been his sister...obviously not. I'm sure he will come running back soon enough and you can kick him to the curb.
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female
reader, AuntyAlexxmo  +, writes (27 December 2011):
 As much as im sure it hurts now you are definately better without him! thanks for the update
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (27 December 2011):
 Just saw your update.. you are better off without him if he lied like that.... I'm sorry this is happening for you.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2011): why not just ask what he got upto last night? maybe you could say you met up with friends and justr ask if he had any fun. no need to get pushy. It's Christmas time so could well be family
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (27 December 2011):
I too would ask first.. it might be nothing serious. but you can't let it fester and you must be honest and tell him what you saw.
figure that out first then go from there..
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female
reader, fishdish +, writes (27 December 2011):
 This might not be what you think it looks like..what if it's just a cousin? a family friend? or just a friend he hasn't seen in a while that you've never met? a kiss on the cheek doesn't scream romance to me. Ask before you accuse; I also agree with previous poster re: talking through your previous troubles, better they be addressed and put to rest than simmer below the surface.
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female
reader, fishdish +, writes (27 December 2011):
This might not be what you think it looks like..what if it's just a cousin? a family friend? or just a friend he hasn't seen in a while that you've never met? a kiss on the cheek doesn't scream romance to me. Ask before you accuse; I also agree with previous poster re: talking through your previous troubles, better they be addressed and put to rest than simmer below the surface.
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male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (27 December 2011):
 If he was serious about marriage he would demonstrate that with his actions as well. His kissing of the other girl contradicts his idea of committment.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI confronted him this morning. He told me that we never got back together from our break. I'm a stalker and he hates me. We definitely did get back together, he's bitter that he got caught and I won't be trying to resolve anything with him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2011): To be very honest, I think you should let him go. I'm sorry, I know that isn't what you want to hear :( Generally speaking, if I think there's the smallest glimmer of hope in a person's situation, I'll advise them to fight on until it's either extinguished completely or conditions improve. But I genuinely don't know if this situation can be resolved, because it appears that your boyfriend is cheating on you... and to me, that would be the end. I believe his actions are as a consequence of what happened back in October ("I treated him horribly when he was nothing but nice to me."); even though you got back together it doesn't sound like his heart was truly in it.You don't detail your treatment of your boyfriend here, but did you ever speak about it with him when you got back together? Did you explain why you did whatever you did? Did you apologise? It sounds like there's been a massive breakdown in communication between the two of you. You speak about second chances; you want to give him one for that kiss, but did he honestly give *you* one when you rekindled your relationship?I don't want this answer to sound completely negative though. So I think, if you feel it would be worth trying to save your relationship (you're the only one who can make that call) then it might help to have a talk with him about October's events. Tell your boyfriend, from the heart, how you feel about all that has happened and see what he says. I'd bring up what you saw at some point - in a non-confrontational manner, of course. The only way that you can move forward from here is if both of you can forgive each other. You need to wipe the slate clean and start anew... no more nasty or deceitful behaviour! All you can do is speak to one another and see how things pan out from here :) Good luck and take care x
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reader, AuntyAlexxmo +, writes (27 December 2011):
Well your not sick in the head, it is totally normal to want to give those we love a chance, whether it's a good idea or not.You really need to talk to hime before you make a decision, you need to tell him what you saw and tell him the only way the two of you have a chance is if he tells you the truth about who that girl is and what has happened between the two of them, because I am sorry to say this but just because you only say a peck it does not mean there has not been more. On the other hand she could be a close friend and the kiss was not sexual just a friends thing, but you wont know any of this unless you talk to him and stress that it is important he tells you the whole truth. Only once you get the truth can you decide if you want to be with him which is totally your choice, but just remember if something did happen and he gets away with it you will always wonder what he is doing.Good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2011): You saw him give her peck kiss goodbye, so you didn't actually see anything more than that, depending on who she is, it may be innocent. You have jumped to conclusions here, so don't lunge at him with this, talk to him honestly. First tell him you were coming to see him with your friend and what you saw, and ask him calmly who she is. Tell him that it hurt you to see that, and so you didn't stop in. Something may have happened, I don't know, but from what you saw, I do think your jumping to conclusions, if you don't want your relationship to end you will have to do your best to remain calm and talk it through. Good Luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2011): umm yeah if you want to continue this circus then go for it... all you saw was a peck and a hug but I wonder what was going on with those two.., in his room.. on his bed.. your relationship ended with him when you two first broke up. there is no point dragging things out.
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