A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:So I'm 14 , and theres this guy I really like , hes 15We had a little thing going on at the beginning but then he went out with one of my friends. He's a player and really only wants a girl to put out for him , thing is i said I would , it all started off as an innocent joke which he took seriously, He's now asking when this ''Fuck'' in his words, is going to be. I really am so scared I honestly don't have a clue of what to do in this situation , i know he doesn't love me but i think a lot of him , and all he wants is Sex , which is why he dumped my friend , because she wouldn't spread her legs , and now I've stupidly agreed to having sex with him! , I don't know how i'm going to get out of it! , I don't want to say no because i want him to like me , but i don't want to do it because I'm scared and i don't want people to think i'm cheap and a slut. He's planning on getting together this weekend ! I really need help PLEASE!
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (3 June 2010):
 Thanks for your update. You are welcome .
Thats the ideal solution . Have nothing to do with those kind of people and your life would be much better.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all so much for your advice , i didn't in the end i just stopped talking to him and removed him from my friends now i feel a lot better about myself thank you once again x
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (13 May 2010):
 "I don't want to say no because i want him to like me"
He won't like you if you have sex with him. He'll probably just tell all his friends about it, and then the fact you 'put out' for him will become everyone's latest gossip. Do you want that?
Your friend was strong enough to say no to him. Well done to her. I suggest you talk to her about it, and then do the same thing.
Stay strong, and good luck. Like the other aunts have said: this will not be the first time you're in a situation like this. You get to choose whether you want to be the girl who sleeps with lots of guys because she wants them to like her (until you learn that doesn't work), or you can be the girl that has sex with guys only when she wants to and there's love and respect going both ways.
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A
male
reader, The Knight +, writes (13 May 2010):
This is the hardest thing you will ever have to do, but also the bravest. Next time he asks 'when,' take deep breath and say ' No, never, I've made a big mistake and sorry.' Say it loud for all to hear, that way he may be embarrassed and never speak to you again. As for wanting him to like you, come on honestly do you want to seen with a boy who sleeps with anyone and everyone, if so you have a real problem, not him. Now your friend as class, she didn't spread her legs but kept them tightly shut, so take a tip from her and do the same. Walk away from the situation, held high and say 'you did it girl, a first class act. In years to come you be more grateful and even laugh about it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2010): No matter how much you think it, having sex with him is not going to make him like you. He is just after sex, that's it nothing more just sex. Your friend had more respect for herself, now show that you have too.
Tell him you have changed your mind, that you were joking or to take a running jump, tell him whatever you like, the only thing his is going to be bothered about is that he didn't get laid.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (13 May 2010):
 You don't know how to get out of it ? Why,it's not like you gave your solemn word to Queen Elizabeth or your Prime Minister. Just say you changed your mind. Just say it's not a good idea. Just say NO !
He won't like you better just because you gave up to his pressures for sex-or, in fact, he will like you. That day. For about 15 minutes, half an hour, or so.
The day after he 'll ask the same to another girl, and he 'll "like "her. And so on and so forth. He only cares about the conquest and the novelty.
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (13 May 2010):
 You are busy washing your hair this weekend so monkey-boy will have to go back to the zoo and play with his banana. Honestly this is nothing to get worked up about as this boy is a loser. You are underage and therefore should not be having sex with anyone. Dating boys is all about acquiring the self esteem first to say 'not tonight dear, I got a headache' and making sure they respect your decision. You have to stand up for your rights and if he starts getting heavy with you tell him you will report him to the police (it is technically sexual harassment). In all probability from the language he uses, he is probably not the player you think he is. More likely he is a teenage boy who hasn't got much sexual experience (plenty of imagination though) and is desperate to change that with anyone who will have him. He maybe an insecure little toad who thinks the meaning of life is having lots of sex, but you are an intelligent, confident young lady who can rise above that!
You happen to be his target right now but it will move onto someone else. Just make it clear no means no and stop worrying if he likes you or not - it doesn't matter. If he stops liking you because you won't have sex then he wasn't worth knowing to start with.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2010): Don't do it
a lotof guys, especially the one you mentioned only wants sex from you and that's it. sex for cuz is only physical, yet for the girl she may feel a connection and wind up developing feelings for him. Do not have sex to get him to like you, if he doesnt treat you with respect and love you now chances are he wont afeter you guys have sex. Simply tell youve changed your mind and just avoid him. I am telling you from experience that you want your first time to be with someone who loves you and treats you with respect. This guy only wants one thing which is sex. I am not saying 14 is too young i was 15 when i lost mine, im just saying make sure you wont regret it later on and do it with someone who will be there for you after.
hope this helps
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (13 May 2010):
Tell him you are not available this weekend.
You know he is a player and want only sex. Why do you still want him to like you ?
Or you tell him that he heard it wrongly or you only meant it as a joke.
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A
male
reader, Dr. Reality Check +, writes (13 May 2010):
 This guy sounds like the loser of the century...just tell him you've changed your mind!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2010): Tell him 'No'. If he refuses no stay the heck away from him. Also he sounds like a real loser. No offense. Avoid him.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2010): You will spend the next 10 years of your life dealing with guys who are players and just want sex from you any way they can get it. If you screw them all trying to make them like you, it's going to be a hard decade of your life.
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (13 May 2010):
 I have to wonder why you "think a lot of him", and why you'd want him to like you. He dumped a girl because she wouldn't spread her legs? And, at 15, has the nerve to ask you when he's going to get his fuck?
You're right to be scared, and absolutely right to not want to be perceived as cheap, as a slut. Which is exactly what he's offering you -- to be his cheap slut.
You "stupidly agreed" to have sex with him. Now that you realize that it's a bad idea, don't do it. Please have more respect for yourself than that. And demand respect from the guys you choose to hang out with. Something this guy is incapable of.
There will be a right time to have sex, and a guy who's right to do it with. A guy that you love, and who has proven he loves you. Please hold out for that.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2010): All you say is, ha gosh it was a joke you fool! That's all you need to say! Gosh you don't have to meet up with him and have sex, really chill.
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