A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, Basically me and my GF had a big arguement over something really pathetic. However I believe her comments towards myself were personal and hating. The arguement was over the tiny statement that I made regarding " I would never include reciepts with my gifts, because the reciever may return my gift, which i would have put a lot of thought and effort into getting" I stand by my comment. Giving a reciept is just allowing them to have the ability to change/return gift, so as a proviso, I dont include it. If I buy a sentimental or high end gift, then I expect the reciever not to exchange. My gf then flipped and argued with me (aggressivly) claiming that I am weird, a joke, cringe, not normal and different against the norm. Recently we both think that she might be bipolar, and this is most likely the case, as she is the sweetest, nicest, caring, respectful girl in the world.But back to the main topic, is she correct to call me those things. Is it justified????Or is it an outburst, that she must regret saying. Am I cringing? Weird? Or am I one of many people? Do many people have my view? She thinks im alone on this, and a freak. Just wanted to clarify on peoples views. Thankyou for reading God Bless :) Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (30 December 2013):
 I agree with Cindy.
Calling names was not nice but she was frustrated at your stance which was totally inflexible, anti-social in belief and just IMO plain wrong.
I may not include the receipt.. but a gift tag for returns is STANDARD practice here. and if i give something to someone close I always say "if you need to return it let me know"
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (27 December 2013):
 'It's something you buy in the intent of pleasing THEM, no strings attached- not for making YOU feel good , or to conquer by force a place in their memory ! Your's not a gift, that's an imposition.'
My sentiments exactly.
I'd say your views put you in a very small minority.
The issue is not that you don't include the receipt. It's WHY you don't include the receipt.
It is generally poor form to let a recipient know what their gift cost us, so we don't include a receipt, we remove the price tag and we don't volunteer where we got it and for how much (and the recipient doesn't ask). There are some exceptions. However it would be appropriate and prudent to hang on to said receipt in case it must be returned or exchanged.
To deliberately make it difficult or impossible to discreetly return or exchange the item demonstrates that gift giving is more about the rewards for you than it is any benefit to the person to whom the gift is for. As Cindy says, it means that person is without a gift if you happened to get it wrong.
I don't think this difference of opinion should have degenerated into name calling, but after reading this post I get the distinct impression your girlfriend had plenty of provocation. You were very quick to label her mentally ill.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (26 December 2013):
 I agree with Cindy.
It's WAY tacky to include the receipt (for the most part).
There CAN be a time where it can be OK to do, for instance weddings (IMHO) because they could have received more of one thing if the gift list/registry isn't properly done. THEY already KNOW how much that gravy boat or tea kettle cost so it's NOT that big of a deal to include it. I know I have always had the store put a TAG/STICKER over the price and then the recipient can STILL exchange the gift.
I don't quite get your stand that because YOU spend time and effort the recipient shouldn't want to exchange it, well sorry buddy if you buy me a GREAT gift but I already have 1 or 2 of them, why shouldn't I get the choice to exchange it? It doesn't mean that I don't APPRECIATE the effort OR the gift. It just means INSTEAD of putting YOUR thoughtful gift in a closet for maybe later use or re-gifting(which is majorly tacky too) I go exchange it for something I REALLY WANT and can use.
And her calling you names because you don't include the receipt? That is downright disrespectful, my guess is you are not telling the whole story. How did you two get to the "to include/not include receipt to a fight?
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A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (26 December 2013):
Dear OP,
When it comes to the question of keeping or not keeping the receipts, I totally agree with Cindycares. A gift is for the people you give it to. So if they don't like it, you should give them the option to return it. This christmas, I spent many hours searching for the right christmas gifts for my family. Of course I didn't give everybody the receipts, but I kept them in case they wouldn't like what they got. I don't want my money to be wasted on something my parents or siblings don't enjoy, I want to use it to make them happy. Otherwise it's just sad, spending my salary for something that will rot on a shelf, because I'm too proud of my gift-choosing abilities.
That said, I also agree that getting all aggressive about this is the wrong way to go. Sometimes, people argue about something small, when it's really about a big topic that is hidden in the background. Has your girlfriend some hidden anger against you (from other occasions) and this was just the one little thing that has caused her to "explode"?
And another thing: Bipolar disorder occurs in about 1% of the population, it's not a very common, but severe disorder and if she suspects that she suffers from it, she should see a professional. People with this psychiatric disorder often have troubles living a normal life and require longterm pharmacological and psychological therapy.
Just losing her temper every once in a while or having mood swings or getting really pissed off at you is not what a bipolar disorder is about. So, before you know anything more, try not to view your girlfriend as mentally ill and deal with her reactions as if she was a healthy person that you can take seriously and hold responsible.
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A
female
reader, Aunty Babbit +, writes (26 December 2013):
 You are both entitled to your own opinions and it doesn't matter who's right!
There are many people who would agree with you and just as many who wouldn't, but in reality, as long as you do what you're comfortable with and so does she then what does it matter?
Many situations have no right or wrong answer, it's purely personal choice and preference.
Respecting another person's opinion is important though and discussion and debate can be interesting when opinions differ.
Making someone feel bad for having a different opinion is not fair and name calling is just juvenile and offensive. I think you need to tell her how you feel and that you respect her opinions (even if different to yours) but do not appreciate being called names just because you feel differently. If she stands by her comments then you may need to rethink this relationship.
Just because she called you a few names and got angry doesn't automatically mean she's bi polar. Many people's personality can change quickly when fuelled with alcohol or when taking certain medications. PMS can also cause changes in mood.
If you have a serious concern that she is bi polar then she should seek medical help quickly to diagnose her properly and get her some help and support. It can be a very lonely and scary condition.
I hope this helps AB x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2013): Well in general I agree, no need to put the receipt in. But in some cases it's smart to. One good example is baby showers. Often people will buy the same item, and having 5 copies of The Cat in the Hat isn't all that helpful to the mom-to-be... so gift receipts are nice.Basically if it were a very sentimental gift, I wouldn't put a receipt... but if it's meant to be more practical (such as clothes or perfume or really anything they could already have) I would.And no.. lol I don't think you're weird, no.. she definitely shouldn't have said those things, YES she overreacted...
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A
male
reader, Hnk +, writes (26 December 2013):
 I have a similar opinion as CindyCares!
I also believe that it is okay to have a difference of opinion but it's not okay at all to belittle other person by calling names or going aggressive. there's always a mature way to just talk and if you can't agree , then just agreeing that we got different thought about a certain thing is perfectly okay.
Also in my life I never have put a receipt in gifts as if you are trying to show we care more about money then actual person. For me, the thought and efforts count more than the money.
Lastly, I have seen weirdest gift exchanging between girls and how they mention its price tag on it to show they forgot to remove it. However, any sane man would never do something as this stupid !
Good luck
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (26 December 2013):
 There was no need to call you names and become aggressive or disrespectful over such a trivial issue- so, in that she is mighty wrong.
But, in substance, ...seriously, OP ? You are negating, cancelling in fact , the essence itself of gift giving. A gift is for THEM, not for you. It's something THEY have to like, not you. It's something you buy in the intent of pleasing THEM, no strings attached- not for making YOU feel good , or to conquer by force a place in their memory ! Your's not a gift, that's an imposition.
You may have put time thought and effort in your gift giving, but , some times you screw up regardless. So, if you give perfume to someone who's allergic,.. cookbooks to people who do not cook ...stiletto heels to a girl with achy feet.. etc.etc.. , they have to suffer and, basically, be without a present, because of your selfcenteredness ?!
Said that... I don't actually INCLUDE receipts with the gifts, because here where I live it is considered extremely tacky, you don't TELL people how much you spent on them if not necessary. But, I'll tell them that I have kept the receipt and it's at their disposal should they want to exchange the item.
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