A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hello, i have a major problem;having left main school 2 years ago obviously there are some people that i have not seen for a while. randomly the other day my old friend asked me if i was up for going round to her house to keep her company, so obviously i did because i always had a thing for her at school. nothing happened and we acted just as friends.a few nights later she popped up again asking if i was going to see her with my friend later for a few drinks at her place. so i obviously did because since seeing her earlier on in the week i could not get her out of my head! we had a few drinks and she ended up coming back to my place, we were both drunk and we ended up sleeping with each other. it all seems good but i know that has a boyfriend and has had one for a good couple of years. the morning after, when we had both sobered up i asked her if she regretted it etc and she said she didnt, and i asked her if it meant anything to her and she said it did, but because she has a boyfriend it would complicate things and she doesnt want to lose me as a friend. i was mortified by this and now she is stuck in my head and i honestly cannot stop thinking about her and its getting me so down! i dont have a clue what to do and for this one, forgetting about her is not an option! can someone pleasee post a reply and try to help me before i go completely insane!? i really want to start something with her but we havent spoken for a good few days now and i dont want to text or ring her incase she thinks im either insane, or incase shes with her boyfriend at the time and it would make the situation mega awkward! please help me!
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drunk, has a boyfriend, she has a boyfriend, text Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the feedback, well thanks to a few of you anyway, q1605 doesn't seem to want to post any helpful of non-offensive feedback. i know it seems as if im being completely stupid about the situation and i know i do need to get over her, but i just cant seem to! its hard to get in touch, because she hardly ever comes online and i dont really have the bottle to phone her up incase shes with her boyfriend! the last thing i would want to do was mess her relationship up for her if being with me is not what she wants..ill just have to find a conveniant time and situation to speak to her and just tell her how im feeling about it. but obviously i wont state im going mad over her or she'll think im completely insane ahaha! if anyone else has any comments or feedback then feel free to post their views! Thanks again
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (26 April 2010):
 Okay, I think that the thing to keep in mind is that she has a boyfriend. Technically, she has cheated with you and it sounds like she's not interested in doing it again right now.
My suggestion to you is to tell her that you'd like to date her but only when she's single. Then wait and see what she does. If she breaks up with him or if she stays with him, you'll have your answer either way then.
I have to point something out to you, though. If she does break up with this guy, and starts dating you, how do you know she won't cheat again? Are you prepared to be in her current boyfriend's shoes? Where you learn that she's not trustworthy, that giving her your love doesn't guarantee that she'll be faithful? Is your ego strong enough to handle dating a cheater?
This kind of situation is part of growing up and maturing. Alas, we don't always get what we want. But we can live our lives in a way that will allow us to be proud of our actions, content that we have done what we can. I suggest you give her a chance to show you where you stand in her life, (personally, it sounds as though she's already told you) and then learn the steps to handling rejection gracefully.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Keira9312 +, writes (25 April 2010):
 You always want to be careful in this situation. If you cannot get her out of your thoughts, see about hanging with her and her boyfriend. If you and her bf become close as friends (with no hard feelings) then you can easily get to see her, and know her better. It will then be up to her to choose who she matches better with. On the plus side, if you and her bf were close, than he would not be so angry about the breakup. Keep in mind that this is just a suggestion.--keira--
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2010): Also always remember that you went to school together and you forgot about her for a while. So you can do it again if she decides she wants to stay with her boyfriend. but she used that as an excuse which it can only mean 1 of 2 things. she wants to keep you as a friend and booty call or she's not happy with him and is looking for a way out, but always remember once a cheater never a quiter.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2010): She slept with you and she liked it. She says it DID mean anything to her. I say you should pursue her - boyfriend or not. After all, he can't be that great if she readily strayed with you, can he?
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