A
female
age
41-50,
*ravityclarity
writes:Hello,I'm 31 years old and recently met a guy who is 37 through an organization for which we both volunteer. We made plans to meet outside of the organization last weekend. I went into it thinking that it was just two people hanging out, but things quickly got very flirty and he was teasing me that this was our first date and by the end, he was asking to kiss me. I felt awkward, and gave him a very quick peck on the lips. After we went home that night we exchanged a few flirty texts and then he called me and we ended up talking for over an hour.On that call, he suggested that he come over to my apartment one night during the week. He ended up taking me out to a really nice dinner, obviously trying to impress me. It was nice and he was a gentleman. After dinner we went back to my apartment, kissed several times and he ended up spending the night. He slept in my bed, but did not have sex. I texted him yesterday morning, thanking him for dinner and a flirty message "I woke up smiling. I think you were right last night when you said I have a crush on you." He responded right away "Told you so. Feeling is mutual. You just made my day". I wrote back "Good, I'm glad." but we haven't been in touch since then. That was about 24 hours ago. I really want to make plans to see him again, but I feel like he should get in touch with me. He seems to be really into me but I'm doubting myself. I could go to the place where we volunteer tonight and I know i'd see him there, which I would like. it wouldn't be unusual for me to go there, but I also don't want to think that i'm going just to see him...help!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2013): Well it's only been 24 hours. Hold your horses! I would only worry if it has been 3 days or more and you haven't heard from him. Now a word of advice: this guy is moving FAST. And I know how exciting it is when a guy shows you so much interest and attention so quickly. But in reality, it doesn't make sense. There are a few things you've mentioned already that point to this courtship being quite off balance. In other words, he is totally controlling the situation. He makes you feel wanted and you love it, but at the same time you have no idea where you stand which is why you're freaking out about him not calling. He may be pulling one over you. And based on other things you mentioned, it sounds like he may just want sex. It's just the way he is coming on so strong and his timing. I feel like if he really liked you, he would've taken you out to dinner the very first time you went out. Instead he casually went out with you to feel you out (probably to see how easily he could bed you) and THEN took you out to dinner after you agreed to have him back at your place that night. To me, the writing is on the wall. I suppose you don't see it. If you just want sex go for it. But I suspect this guy is not serious. As for him not calling, you are freaking out for no reason. Don't let him have so much control over you. You just started hanging with him. Slow down, let things progress naturally. And do not be at his beck and call. Let him prove to you that he's serious about you.
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (13 July 2013):
Why should he get in touch with you and not the other way around? I thought men and women were supposed to be equal... if you want something, and that something will make you happy, you gotta go out and get it! Don't let anyone else be in charge of your happiness.
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A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (12 July 2013):
 You're thinking too much! You two had a good time, what's wrong with having another good time? Give him a call or go to volunteer for the sake of volunteering AND enjoying his company. Ask if he's going over there tonight and if he says yes ask if he wants to get ice cream (or something nice) after.
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