A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Been dating my bf of almost a year...we moved in together a little over two weeks. I really want to get intimate with him yet he doesn't seem interested. We've tried to get intimate about 4 times but I think he was nervous or something because "fireworks" didn't happen. I'm 26 and def not a virgin. He's 25 and I'm not sure if he is or not. He's claimed to have had sex in the past and is really good at foreplay.For the past 6 months or so, he hasn't been interested in anything - kissing,petting, nothing. He's taking medication for something pretty personal (nothing like STD) and I think that is making the situation bad. Also, he is really stressed at work but has been using that excuse for MONTHS now.What do I do? I'm tired of trying and getting rejected. I'm tried of always bringing it up to him. I'm tired of not having this intimacy like EVERYONE else I know is having with their bf's. What is the underline issue? I know he is NOT gay. He pushes me away every time I go to touch him. Like this morning I was stroking him and he said "I have to get ready for work now."...WTF???Please help.
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at work, foreplay, kissing, moved in, std Reply to this Question
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male
reader, LonelyButNotAlone +, writes (18 November 2008):
 Some medications have a way of affecting a person's libido and their general desire for sex... if it's something he's too embarrassed to bring up, he could be taking anti-depressants, hair-loss medications, etc. Or it may be as Campbell said that he's lying about his virginity and is nervous. Or he may have just had a bad experience with sex causing him to fear it. All I know is that stress at work is not a several-month excuse.
There's definitely something deeper making him reject it. In my opinion, even waiting a full year and moving in with you before having sex is suspicious.
Tell him that you don't understand... that you wanna know and try and work through whatever's making him avoid physical intimacy. Tell him that it's important to you and that he can trust you with it, no matter what's causing him to avoid it.
If he's still refusing to open up to you or denying your claims that he's being difficult, I'd probably start reconsidering your recent move-in.
A
male
reader, Campbell  +, writes (17 November 2008):
 He might not be ready for sex. It sounds kinda dumb a 25 year old not being ready but you never know. Have you talked to him properly about it? He could be a virgin and just scared he wont make you feel good or that he might PM or something like that. In the end though a relationship isn't just about sex, granted it can be a big part but just talk to him and see what he is really thinking
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