A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm 21 and split from my partner who's 20 on her terms 6 months ago. we were together for almost two years and have a son together who is now 13 months old. she got pregnant when we together for 3 months and loved each other very much. Of course, things changed when the baby was born which led to our split, arguing, fighting, paying each other no attention and i was also smoking weed at the time.She didn't want to know when we first split and stupid me kept phoning, texting telling her i love her and i'll change. this got me very depressed and sorry for myself and i blamed myself for everything. As the months have gone i've eased back and now were getting on again. i have my son on weekends and sometimes she lets me see him during the week 2. thing is, the feelings i have for her haven't disappeared, in fact i now love her more than ever and sometimes i get signals from her that she maybe feels the same way. Constant smiles towards me, old talk like when we first together, and we're going to start going out places together with our son. I really want to get back with the mum of my child, i tell her shes a great mum all the time and that she's sexy and beautiful and sometimes i tell her that i love her.i just want to know if theres any advice that could get us back together or steps i could take
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, I Dont Lie +, writes (8 June 2007):
 No matter what you decide to do, take things really slow. Thats the main advice I would give to you. It will be best for your child if you both decided to give the relationship another shot, but as you already know, the ball isn't in your court. And that is why you have to realise that rushing things forward in your own time will only push her away. She must, and I stress, must, feel the reconnection on her own terms (as she is the one having the trump card, not you). The last thing you want to do is to put her in a position where she feels like she has to make a choice in taking you back just because you both are on good terms now (and you getting close to the child as well).
She might just like the idea of her child having his/her dad again, so try not to read too much into it to avoid dissapointment. Show her you still care for her and the child by taking responsibilities, by being a man and a good father, then perhaps she will start to realise that you still are the person she once fell in love with. Paying her compliments alone will not work, you basically need to show her (most importantly, yourself!) that you are worth getting back with focusing on yourself, constantly improving yourself and taking care of yourself. Every girl wants her guy to be a able to take care of the family, to feel safe and secure around him (physically, emotionally and financially), and most of all, be the examplary father to her child! Good luck.
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