A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I really need some help here. I met this girl about a month ago and we really hit if off. We have alot in common and I really think the world of her. We hung out almost every day for the first 3 weeks, then her ex came back into the picture. It started off with him telling her to stop contacting me or not answering, which she refused to do. It was then followed by threats to her to stop doing it.He has cheated on her numerous times in the past but she can't seem to give up on him for some reason. Contact between us had stopped all together late last week and I thought that was it, done deal. A few days ago I saw her out and I didn't say a word to her, and after I had left she called me and tried to explain everything. She said that she knows the right decision is to choose me, but she needs and wants to get her personal life straightened out before she can move onto another relationship, which I think is understandable. She said she needs some time to herself to get rid of this guy and make herself happy first. I see alot in this girl and I don't want to give it up, but I also don't want to pressure her. Should I let it go or should I wait? Is this whole situation some kind of a game? I really think she is what I have been looking for...What should I do????
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2010): She is well aware of my intentions, she knows that I really am interested. She told me she is interested on several different occasions. Im doing my best to give her all the time and space she needs to take care of her personal life first. All I can hope for is that it is worth it in the end. Thanks for your help everyone :)
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2010): I am or was basicaly in the same situation as you are. Met a girl, had fun, kinda got crazy about her and then mr. cheating ex has returned. I was even compared many times by her that i'm in many ways the same as her ex. Since this is a very stereotypical case scenario I believe the the best way to approach the whole situation is to stay cool, have some contact from time to time, support her decision even when it means that she'll return to him for a while (this happened for a few days but also ended in a few days) and also look elsewhere for a partner.
Really don't waste your whole time on her and look for other life oppurtunities. Her feelings for her ex are just stronger than the feelings toward you. And yes this situation is a pretty typical game but if you play it right and stay calm you might atleast score a very good friend (her).
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A
female
reader, anniibabii  +, writes (21 March 2010):
I think that you should talk to her and ask her how she really feels about you. If she knows that YOU are the right decision, then she should avoid her ex and go back to you. If you think she is the one then go with your heart, but have you considered that she may only be avoiding you to prevent physical abuse from her ex? Do not get involved in their relationship, and just hope for the best. If you give her time and space, she will be able to think about it and about who she really deserves.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (21 March 2010):
 Wait for her. Is she supposed to be single for another 5 months before she meets another man? The dating world is not a first come first serve. Get to know her better, a relationship doesn't start until you are sure you can both trust each other. Give her another 2 weeks, and when you see her again see if your feelings are still the same.
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A
female
reader, Auntie E  +, writes (21 March 2010):
 Give her a limited amount of time to untangle from this guy and then be on her own a bit. Let her know this but don't let this drag on and become the focus of your entire life. You also have to understand that if a girl starts a relationship with you while she is still in another relationship then she is liable to do the same thing to you. Some people operate this way - it's a continuing pattern for them. Proceed with caution.
As I said give it a "limited" amount of time and see what happens.
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A
male
reader, coles85 +, writes (21 March 2010):
Give her some space mate, if she is any good for you she will give that toss-pot the elbow and give you the green light, sometimes its best just be patient, also be strong, let her know exactly what you want and leave it as that! Makes it know you are the one whom wont be messed around! good luck pal!
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