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male
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anonymous
writes:OK..perhaps one for the ladies to clear for me: I used to work in the next office to a girl I barely knew but really fancied. We used to flirt a lot, then her company moved. By chance I met her again and asked her to meet for a drink, we had a really good time and agreed to meet again..this went on and I thought we were getting close. A mutual friend told me that she had said how much she likes me and was asking if I was really single etc.I, alas, have usually gone for the fun girls - no strings but this time was really into having a relationship with her - but I never said this to her. So on date 6 (!!) something changed..she just cooled totally. So: A) just one of those things B) Should have told her how I felt C) Shes playing games (my mates answer)what is it?
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi Irish49 - great answer - thanks. I too have no interest in playing games, life is far to short! Im going to get in touch with her over the weekend and find out one way or the other - thanks to all you guys for your advice!
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2006): She is playing a game with you. and I personally hate games..I feel they are disrespectful to the offending party and it says a lot about the person 'playing the game'. There is two ways of looking at this:
1) As Anja said, it's highly possible she's assessed the situation and isn't interested in further dating you. By nature, women are emotional creatures. and many find it hard to hide their feelings when they like a guy. So, when most women like a fellow, she lets him know through words, body language, etc., especially by the 6th date. I think you banked on this, but she's not doing this. She could be one of those 'rare birds' who uses her head before connecting herself emotionally to a guy. But what disturbs me, why doesn't she just tell you by stating 'I'm sorry-this isn't going to work' or "I'm not sure how I feel, let's slow down' If she can't tell you upfront, she has an immaturity problem. or........
2) As your friends stated, she could be playing the 'hard to get game' and is positioning herself to get your attentions to see how genuinely you feel about her.
Either way, she's playing with your emotions and you have to wonder, if she's the one for you. Sometimes, we have to discern whether a person who plays games is a person we'd want to spend time with. I am against this type of behaviour..it's very hurtful and dishonest. But if you like her and are determined to find out..he best way is simple...as Wendyg stated, just ask her out again and see what she says. If she says no, tell her "thank you for your time...too bad it didn't work out' and get on with your life. Do not contact her again. No matter how much you like her, there's no point in continually 'hitting your head with a hammer'. Move on and go find someone else who is upfront and doesn't play games.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi Wendy..I think that might a failing on my part full stop.. I guess I just assumed that she knows how I feel about her. Thanks for your help! 8-)
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female
reader, Wendyg  +, writes (8 June 2006):
 Maybe she didnt realise that you were into her, and cooled it off as she didnt feel it was going to turn in to anything. Maybe contact her ask her if she would like to go on another date, tell her you like her alot and liked spending time with her and would like to see more of her and see what she says. its hard to say if shes just suddenly gone off you but well you did get to date 6, so surely she was interested right ? Until you ask her your not going to know, just ask her on a date if she says no then you will know, but more importantly if she does really like you too then shes going to say yes and you can take it from there!
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi Anja...'ouch' but thanks for your honest reply....8-)
Hi Camille..many thanks for your answer - probably the best course of action for my own peace of mind - 8-)
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female
reader, camille +, writes (8 June 2006):
 Why don't you just ask her? There's no point asking anyone else as we can't guess....but ......she may have been hoping you would have made a move and maybe she thinks you're not interested? Maybe just tell her how you feel and see what she says? Take it from there because it's more likely to be A or B rather than your cynical mates C. And I am so cynical it's ridiculous (although I like to call it Realism!)
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reader, Anja +, writes (8 June 2006):
 After only 6 dates, you really don't know each other well. But it does allow enough time to give you both a desire to know each other more.
It sounds like although she fancied you to start with, (usually first attraction based on looks etc) she just may no longer fancy you as she has got to know you a little. Maybe she feels she is not compatible. Women are more choosy in the long run, not saying you aren't but if she feels there is no connection there mentally, she just isn't ever going to be interested.
Don't take it personally, she just is not into you, better to know now then 6 months down the line!!
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