A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:okay basically, me and this boy have a lot of history and weve been on and off for the past 3 years, and hes mucked me around a lot, but i have forgiven him and hes said hes going to change. recently he told me he loved me and said he wanted to meet up. i said no because i didnt trust him which got him angry, then i apologised and told him i would learn to trust him. Anyway, cutting a very long story short, because he anticipated us meeting up and seeing each other, i think ive been quite pressurizing and pushy ie when he stood me up by accident i had a big go at him, and have got stressy when i thought he didnt want to see me. He's really not the kind of guy who works under pressure. he even told me himself once he gets nervous in serious situations. ive been too pushy and now that i realize that, i want to stop and have a much more realxed realtionship since thats the way he likes things to be. How do i let him know that without sounding like im having a 'lets talk about our realtionship' kind of conversation? also recently he hardly starts our conversations and i dont want to look desperate.I really really like him and I'm worried I've blown my chance by seeming controlling.please help xxx Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2010): Just be honest with him and tell him you love him and will change and not be so pushy. You should really change because...ive messed up in a relationship too...i said id change and i didnt...well i triedd...but i didnt....so just be honest..and change ... Everything will be fine after that if he still loves u.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (15 May 2010):
Because he doesn't know what he wants at all. There's one think for sure though, and that is that all on/off relationships don't work. The truth is he doesn't know what he wants. I he wanted you, he'd never have acted this way before.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwhy would he muck me around so much, whats the point?
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (14 May 2010):
This isn't going to work out. This has been on/off, which means it's already not working out. He's messed around a lot, you say. And you've forgiven him time after time. But he's still failed you, and he stood you up. No guy who cares about you would act this way. You need to stop with this guy and start working on getting over him. It's time to move on from him. This won't work out.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2010): You are so young...you shouldn't even be thinking about a relationship right now. Focus more on your schooling and with that being said, no one really likes to be bossed around. It's ok to control certain situations sometimes, but when a person makes it a habit...there will always be issues that arise.
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