A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I really need help! I have a real mental problem coping with the fact my boyfriend used to masturbate. I have no idea why but once I asked him if he would do this in front of me and I got so upset that I started crying and I felt so physically sick. It wasn't because he did anything strange or anything, but it was the fact that he seemed to really enjoy it. Deep down I think the problem is, is that he doesn't need me to get pleasure. This was seven months ago. My boyfriend assures me he doesn't masturbate anymore as he says he doesn't even need to as we have such an active sex life. But if there is ever a reference to masturbation on the tv or in a movie or even in conversation with pals I get so wound up and upset that I end up having an argument with my boyfriend and turning really cold with him. Can someone please help me?!
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female
reader, love-him +, writes (21 June 2007):
 To be honestly truthfull, this is a mental problem, as there is no other explanation. you feel disgusted by this? and that you dont think you can give the max pleasure that he needs to masterbate? but the vast majority of male and female.. masterbate.. you will need to accept this, because if you and your boyfriend break up and you find a new boyfriend they might not be as understanding.. and its the past! get over it babii cos he shouldnt have to change because of you.. he doesnt do it now does he so at least hes given it up for you!
A
male
reader, leonard j.Douglas  +, writes (21 June 2007):
Gee! You got some right-on answers to his Mastubation. However I would just like to add one thing. Why don't the Two of you Masturbate together? Best way that I know of to improve your sexual togetherness. And some times it's the only game in town for both gender.
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A
female
reader, Beckto  +, writes (21 June 2007):
 You need to think long and hard about what you feel is wrong with masturbation. Disassociate the act with your boyfriend, and think about only your life experiences. Have you ever masturbated? Have you ever walked in on anyone else masturbating? Put simply, what's your hang-up?
There is nothing wrong at all with masturbating. Men and women do it. Men and women who are in happy, sexually fulfilling relationships do it too. Why do it? It's one way of relaxing, one way of relieving stress, some do it out of boredom, some do it to pleasure themselves when their partner is away, or some do it for no reason at all.
Yes, he enjoys it. Isn't that the point of sex as well? To pleasure your partner, as well as be pleasured yourself?
Here's the point: If you ask him, I bet he will say that masturbation is great but it's nothing like being with a real person, with you. If that wasn't the case, I bet there would be many more single men in the world! One of the joys of sex is the interaction with a partner who you care about, as well as getting to make your partner feel amazing, and of course receiving their attention and passion to make you feel wonderful. You are more interesting and more desirable than your boyfriend's hand. I promise.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2007): Well, masterbation is natural.
No matter how much pleasure you give your man,
hes going to feel the urge to do it.
I personaly think its a turn on.
I often try to get my boyfriend to masterbate infront of me.
Which he will not. So youre a lucky girl.
Ofcourse he needs you for pleasure - I bet it feels much better when you do it. And both you and him know it.
If ever he touches himself infront of you,
he could be hinting ;]. If you know what I mean.
Jump right into it.
you cant deny that you havent masterbated before,
so think about you ..
no matter how much you touch yourself,
or have before,
you still want his pleasure right?
Everyone's like that,
you need to learn to love it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2007): Truthly i think your being really imature about this and need to grow up.
finding a man who hasnt masterbated once in his life is like finding an eskimo in the sahara desert. Its very rare.
I think accepting your BF masterbation past is the only way your relationship will ever work, Feel better that he hasnt slept around with escorts etc. Which is much worst than masterbation. Also you will have to accept that masterbation is VERY common among teens and all men as a matter a fact, remember this.
As or him not needing you for sexual plesure you are wrong, sex with a woman provides different plesures than that by yourself. So do not worry about that.
I think there is something bigger here than your BF masterbation and maybe you have a past with it, which is afecting you now. I dont know. But ou do need to get past this soon
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